A directory of disgust

SOUTHERN GOSSIP MIX

2011-06-23T03:41:00.000-07:00

WHITE DEVIL MAFIAS

2011-06-13T07:03:00.000-07:00

Its that time again...im still on the verge of quitting this bullshit, but hey..i guess i gotta get raped before i get laid.
brand new sexy as fuck, percussion and bass as fucked out mix. I dedicate this one to everyone in the world running shit. i really hope to be a part of the crew one day. Big up the Sif Ous, Il Duce, Adam, Carla, Cathy, Unathi, Athi, Rob, Yana, Dmtri...AND FUCK CAPE TOWN POLICE for kicking my shins the other day.

WHITE DEVIL MAFIAS download

http://soundcloud.com/bigspace

BURNING BRIDGES TOUR MIX

2011-06-05T08:48:00.000-07:00

DUN KNOW..ONE EVERY WEEK, STAY TUNED.
DOWNLOAD FREE

semi automatic

2011-05-27T03:10:00.000-07:00

Zoop zoop...yeah, if you dont know..now you know...my hardrive crashed..yeah..everything lost..almost..found this tune i made a few months back..house vibe..kinda deep but really funky as well. Enjoy. STAY TUNED, WILL BE ON A RE-UP SOON. GOT TOO MANY MIXES IN THE PIPELINE...THAT CAPE TOWN LIFE.
WILL BE PLAYING AT CLUB VOOM VOOM ON THE 4TH OF JUNE..AND THEN 5TH/15TH JUNE AT FICTION (to be confirmed)

CURES

BIG COCKS

2011-05-25T04:30:00.000-07:00

love these guys...my homie and comic illustrator Alaistair Laird's rap crew, SIF OUS.
people from durban just have these amazing tendencies...TENDENCIES. ALTERNATIVE TENDENCIES. loving the leather jackets and bandanas.
So much raw talent coming out of durban. Check out one of his many comic strips here...its called FREE BEER

NO HOMO

2011-05-19T04:15:00.001-07:00

HOMOSEXUALITY IS FOREIGN TO AFRICA...My friend Andy Davis sent this to me.

BURNING BRIDGES TOUR PART 1

2011-05-14T00:46:00.000-07:00

N CAPE TOWN ON THE 2ND LEG OF THE BURNING BRIDGES TOUR AND ITS GOING LOVELY..BRAND NEW DESIGN BY NOLAN OSWALD DENNIS...AND A GLIMPSE OF WHATS HAPPENED AND A SIP OF THE FUTURE. SEA SALT, VINEGAR, DEPRAVITY, WHORES., LIQOUR. LETS GO!

MISSING JHB

2011-04-04T16:25:00.001-07:00

ITS WHATEVS

NASTY

2011-04-03T18:00:00.000-07:00

"this shit is going to blow up like josh groban you sucker"- Nick Swardson

MORE MUSIC

2011-03-08T14:38:00.000-08:00

its feeling like a good year..i dont say that very ofetn. But i like this.
This one features old Henry Chinaski...its another one for my devil worshippers.
enjoy...
DOWNLOAD HERE

ROLLIN WITH THE DEVIL MIX

2011-03-02T01:49:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was such a horrid day, despite the release of the new cuss monthly magazine which i wrote and i aslo released my new mix ROLLIN WITH THE DEVIL its a collection of satanic rap, texas/memphis 90s underground, some chopped and screwed and other nasty things. I dedicate this mix to Kyla, she influenced it hard anyway. SABF! SATANS ANGRY BLACK FIST..BIG SPOEK FOR LACING THAT COVER WORK.

DOWNLOAD MIX HERE

SANDTON AND SONS E.P. SINGLES

2011-02-26T11:48:00.000-08:00

Whoa! so the last time i made a rap album was in 2004 with Spoek Mathambo..SPACEGHOST
And now i return with S&$(SANDTON AND SONS) which is myself and Johannesburg Legend Bhubessi. I prodeced all the songs, and the music can only be described as music for losers,stalkers, junkies and lovers. ITS GOING TO BE A GREAT YEAR, ITS ONLY FEBRUARY.

Here are the first two singles.
1. Aaliyah 666 drug love
2. Tom peep

DOWNLOAD THEM HERE FOR FREE!

BRRRRRAAAAP!

2011-02-23T06:12:00.000-08:00

our year...

SWAN SONG: AFTER THE FIRE

2011-02-20T04:57:00.000-08:00

For My Nigga

Thanks for letting me know that i wasnt wrong all those times when i was a little boy thinking to myself, "surely somewhere out there there has to be someone like me, i cant be the only one". So..."lets coast". We have nothing lose and so much to gain. killing, stealing and raping... we shall purge these lands and drive out all the scum, the cunts, the bastards and the fuckers who stand in our way. Youre like the smell of sand after it rains...you make me feel better than a cigarette after a bong and a line of coke.
You Sexy motherfucker.
666 THUG LOVE, THUG LIFE. PARTNERS IN CRIME. SABF. BFF FOR LIFE.

DIZASTER

2011-02-16T01:16:00.000-08:00

WOW..this is a Lebanese battle rapper from California...funniest person ever. He likes to stomp his feet and shout...rap battles..jesus christ.

A LETTER TO PERCY ZVUMOYA

2011-02-15T06:39:00.000-08:00

The Gastronomic Public Enema: Percy Zvomuya

By: Montle 26 year old Moorosi. (No gang affiliations…vigilante justice)

Usually I only pick up newspapers to wipe my ass when I run out of toilet paper, but it was a Sunday and I was visiting my parents, they have 4 ply toilet paper, which feels like wiping your ass with a silk shirt, while newspapers feel like wiping your ass with a lesbian’s moustache.

Newspapers? They’re the tumble weeds of the modern day west, they’re left in the rain to get stuck on our shoes, hobos sleep on them and use them as car washing rags and of course they wipe their asses with them too. I know someone who once wiped their ass with the Time magazine issue with Barack Obama just after he was sworn in as president.” you used the cover?” “It’s the first page, why not?”

“I have lost count of how many people I meet who identify themselves primarily as writers. Most of the time they are journalists, DJs, students, people who have at one point or the other sat down to post a blog, tweet, write down a rhyme…”

I remember reading this and breaking into “gastronomic” laughter, especially at the “write down a rhyme part”, it was slightly personally poignant and which is what made it funny in the first place. Suddenly a Sunday at my parent’s house didn’t seem that bad, but then I carried on reading, and I said to myself “Wow, Percy Zvomuya is one retarded wet back.”

In the latest issue of the white guilt ridden Mail and Guardian, one can find an opinion piece by Percy Zvomuya, a person whom I correctly assume (I’m allowed to do that) is of Shona descent and PROBABLY 75 years old in a wheel chair. "I'll beat an old man up,i'm not afariad"- Zach Galfianakis, The Hangover.

The measly corned meat and baby potatoes of his article is that young writers and editors in South Africa are not well read and need to read more Achebe and more Achebe. His examples are based on his tedious sojourns to poetry readings in Melville and at Real Men Talk. Wow. Let me say, Percy, your research skills are amazing, as the young kids say these days, “you’re a fucking legend”. You’re a grown man who still hangs out at varsities going to WH Auden’s readings and bitching about how the students don’t do their home work. I’m guessing you never actually went to school yourself, but that’s okay, because you know what they say “Bru, you don’t need to study to do journalism”. Percy says things like “gastronomic cliché” (do you mind if I call you Pussy instead of Percy?) funny guy, funny. I can see he used to be a playwright for a junta in a bush somewhere, dreaming of grandiose scenes of your plays being performed by Zakes Mokae. But now you are in the city, with nothing but a heart full of hate, a screen filled with the empty words of a mere critic and of course a mouth full of Chinua Achebe’s dick. Chinua Achebe is awesome, but I don’t think he’d like you very much, you’re quite retroactive, “anti-revolutionary”, “gay”, “what you have in your trousers is rubbish”.

And speaking of gay, which is not a problem but it would be great if you would just come out the closet and save yourself the trouble and heart ache, come on man, you’re a city slicker now, its even hip these days brother. Percy goes about how publishers and editors are to blame for the amount of bad writing by local aspiring writers, and he bases his example on Kopano Matlwa’s Spilt Milk. I haven’t read her book, and I doubt I ever will, but I do know that she’s very easy on the eyes, very easy on the eyes. Percy sat down and interviewed her, and he could do was sit there and think about literature when right in front of him sat a girl who on most normal occasions would probably caught dead with someone that looks like a child soldier, but today she was at the mercy of the journalist, Percy had her in his hands, but then he put her down to the ground gently as he silently called her filthy names. But then again Percy did go to Real Men Talk.

Percy also hates bad grammer, he’s going to love me and my editor. All these commas and full stops make us wet our shorts.

Throughout his article Percy constantly name drops. This dude is so funny, he’s like a 16 year old American tourist partying in Johannesburg “yeah, I fucking partied with Pauly D from Jersey Shore”. But what’s so funny about his name dropping is that he’s always saying that his friends are in the process of publishing books, what I want to know is when can we read your big book of critiques? It’s going to be a great read, I have faith in you man. Were black brother’s man, yeah. Woo fucking hoo! I hate to sound like Steve Hofmeyer or an axe yielding ignoramus baying for foreigner blood, but Percy, this is South Africa, everyone whose dick you suck so much aren’t South African writers.

“At times I feel that the best writing that has come out of Africa is from the older generation- the people born in the 1920s, 1930s, 1940s and 1950s, writers such as Achebe, Ngugi wa Thiong’o, Mongo Beti, Mariam Ba, Ferdinand oyono, Dambudzo Marechera, Charles Mungoshi, Sembene Ousmane…” Nadine Gordimer and JM Coetzee are the other only South African writers Percy mentions. Dude, you’re just mad that Kopano has a book and you don’t, and I can understand that. Take a deep breath, close your eyes and give yourself a hug. What i'm trying to say in Basic English without using terms like “gastronomic” is that the basis of your argument is as good as trying to make love to an elephant with a rat’s penis. How the hell is reading any of these writers going to improve the level of writing? I don’t get it? I really don’t. Did ever occur to you that influence is a relative thing? Did it ever occur to you that there are plenty of black guys who like Joseph Conrad? Achebe must be barn dancing in his grave. I read Heart of darkness it three times. Once for school, twice for fun.

“Are there many young writers working at the moment who are worthy of these forebears? I have to tread carefully now as some of these writers are my friends. Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, Dinaw Mengestu, Hisham Matar, Jose Eduardo Agualusa and Sello k duiker aside, can we think of writers who are worthy of the average readers attention?”

Ha, ha, ha…or shall I say “lol” Percy just won’t stop with the jokes. First of all those writers names sound like they were taken from fusion food restaurant menu, or they could be carpenters, there’re names are so long I couldn’t even bother to copy paste them into Google…I once heard that Sello K Duiker likes to drink so I guess that’s okay. O.k., heres a list of writers who are worthy of the readers attention and they are also ummm my friends, Andy Davis, Rodger Young, Max Barashenkov, Brendon Edmonds, Robert Cockroft and Anneli Botes. (Just joking about Botes, I don’t know that bitch).

“Since men have learnt to shoot without missing the birds have learnt to fly without perching”- Chinua Achebe, so I guess since haters like you will always keep hating the younger one’s will always keep tweeting with our bad grammer, spelling and obscene abbreviations. Whether its our obsessions with Rihanna get her ass beat up or were eating sushi out of a white woman’s anus, nobody really knows why we do these things, and nobody ever will, and that’s the beauty of it. Rock and Roll bitch.

The Philanderer

2011-02-14T03:51:00.000-08:00

A woman suspected of having an affair is driven out her home by a rather jovial mob.

Whistle and Cock Blowers: Just Do it!

2011-02-10T12:01:00.000-08:00

Whistle and Cock Blowers: Just Do it!

By: Montle Moorosi

For some reason a lot of journalists think that they’re private detectives, Humphrey Bogart’s with champagne glass formats instead of shots of whiskey. They see themselves as these archaeologists or seekers of truth and even as martyrs or soldiers in their war on words, “were just playing our parts”. Connie Bogart Chung. Then when they retire from journalism the first they do is write a detective novel in some idyllic run down shack by the sea, or end up running the D.A. and Cape Town.

“Ja I’m writing an article about how air conditioners are racist because they don’t take the black man’s tropic equatorial genetic make up into consideration” -Journalist

The ANC hates journalists, and I can see why. Journalists have really bad taste, and I’m not talking about making up facts and stories like I do or putting pictures of dead naked white men on the cover of tabloid newspapers, journalists are in bad taste because they are lousy if not sloppy dressers and although they know a lot of big words like “contrived”, “personal hygiene” is the only word they have never stumbled across or “followed a lead into”. Most of them are actually way too smart to be doing journalism and often studied things like financial accounting and are just either trying to piss of their parents or suffering from the final stages of chronic bourgeois guilt. And of course some of them just did way too much Quaaludes in the 70’s and had orgies with IFP operatives in burnt train carriages and never really came back from it all. In school they learn to sleep on their stomach’s everyday and they have their left bottom ribs removed so they can suck their own cocks to the sound of the lecturer saying “FOURTH ESTATE”. And did I mention that they also want everything for free? Fuck it, I mean if you wanted to do a story about me because you found out my vagina was actually a singing piece of calamari I’d want at least R1000 you cheap motherfucker.

Anton Harber

If only Habermas, Foucault and all those other bores had realised what they were doing talking about public spheres and places of “rationale debate” what kind of evil cacophony they were composing with a crude ensemble made up of “objectivity” on the shoe string bass, “who, why, when, where” on the tin can drum and Deborah Patta on the vocals singing a maskandi version of Strange fruit. The media industry is something like the Tower of Babel. I remember when the Black Journalist forum was started and only black journalists were allowed to join. The uproar this incident caused made no sense to me at the time and it still doesn’t. White journalists were mad because they weren’t allowed to join the black journalist forum. Now first all why do journalists even need a forum? Isn’t it clear that what they need is Dettol and some life coaching seminars? The black journalists wanted a forum where they could discuss “black journalism” what that is I don’t know, but I’m assuming it means very long stories about jazz, hair products and sickle cell disease. What’s more retarded is that the white journalists were crying like bitches to be a part of this, writing about Zuma’s used condoms or the beauty of wicker furniture (let alone owning the media) wasn’t enough for them. It was like a child with Down syndrome crying and begging in the mall screaming at the mother “mama, I want elephantiasis”.

But you know what, it’s a democracy! Woo hoo! So I guess they wont be made into bars of soap anytime soon, nor will their heads be shrunken and be used as paper weights like God intended them to be. But what I still don’t understand is the ever present or “effervescent” hygiene problem this class of workforce are inflicted by, I mean, they aren’t construction workers or abortionists. I am told that Mail and Guardian journalists are some of the best paid in South Africa second to the Sunday independent, yet the founder and now current head of Journalism at Wits, Anton Harber smells like those tiny smelly balls you get at the back of your throat after a heavy night of drinking or a bout of hay fever. And his suits look like they were stolen from a morgue in Helsinki. A very rich man. Maybe sometimes eating sushi out of a woman’s ass is a way of preventing yourself from having delusions of grandeur that you’re an “everyday hero” as opposed to the not so sad reality that you’re a rich motherfucker with a small cock. Money can buy you a bigger cock and a bigger house. Like the 12 yr old Chinese kid making shoes said “Just Do It”.

TITS AND ASS

2011-02-07T07:00:00.000-08:00

So...Im writing a book of short stories which is going to be illustrated by my friend Nolan oswald Dennis, the book (www.mafutaink.com)...heres some examples... its going to be called TITS AND ASS.

CHICKEN AND FISH

2011-02-01T12:02:00.001-08:00

TWO GIANTS...

2011-01-26T08:16:00.000-08:00

NINJA MAN AND SIZZLA..LOVE THIS STAGE SHOW

LITERARY RETURN

2011-01-24T07:48:00.000-08:00

Oh how they shunned your dear fellow narrator...ive been chewed and spat out like a suppository in a German womans ass. But like all things which come from the mouth like words, i managed to survive. And so i sit before you once again, humbled, my tail never between my legs becasue my tail and ears were docked as a young man, i was supposed to be a blue blood.

and so...here's a little story wrote a while ago...not my best work, but not worst either.

Beverlea

A short story by: Montle Moorosi

My girlfriend is trying to kill me, well, I don’t even know if she’s my girlfriend really, she lives 2 minutes away from me with her parents in the home that they’re renting that is 4 houses away from the house that they’re renovating which they hope to move into once they pay off the bank, their daughters varsity and school tuitions, their heamorraghing extended family and of course my girlfriends R20 000, of which R7000 is mine. Last week the sheriff reposessed their treadmill and some furniture and I’m supposed to be sad even though my balls are swollen and look like dead foetouses from Avartar. I only see my “girlfriend” twice a week and this time together is usually spent chaperoning each other on our mundane errands like going for haircuts, paying parking tickets and never having sex or even making out for longer than 15 seconds.

“Maybe God taking away their wealth is his judgement on their frugal ways?’ I said to myself while suddenly feeling myself getting aroused as I page through a book about child birth with graphic black and photos from the seventies of really big wet and fat vaginas with what I assume are children’s heads popping out of them. The good and wise Lord struck down the tower of Babylon with his Zeus like cock and balls because the whores were not clean and they had no understanding of customer service and we cant forget about how our almighty Jesus Christ cursed the tax men out of his citadels because they forgot that pimps aren’t supposed to pay taxes or sleep with each others wives. And who am I to question the word and actions of the Lord? God is Good, God is great. My hand slips and my mind wanders to endless plains of wet grass, fresh mango tree’ sweating and mulatto women with soaking wet pussies and mouths as my four walls unfold in front of me and become vast white beaches and my hell becomes a rack of ribs served with a ice cold blow job from Mary Magdelene with a mouth full of cocaine and Cognac.

“Hello? Can I come in?” I place my bible on my lap and cross my legs.
“Yes, come in”
“did you check the newspapers today for jobs?”
“yes mother, there was nothing much, only something for the municipal which I’ve already applied for. But I also found a new interesting passage in Corinthians about striving for one’s dreams in the face of insurmountable terror, its very interesting, I’ll give it to you to read once I’m done re writing it onto my chart of inspiration so I can ponder its greatness and the Lords wisdom over and over again, PRAISE HIM, PRAISE HIM LORD!”
“Okay, just keep at it, job searching is a job itself you know, because the lord say’s ‘he who hath giveth and taketh the bread, is a man who hath suffered beyond a mule and a quarry of dolomite’.
“YES! YES MOTHER PREACH! EH HEH! PRAISE HIM! EH HEH! MY LORD ” I say to her as I stand up and sort of half jump whilst frantically searching for my hankerchief so I can either wipe my brow or swipe the sky in elation of God knows what.
“ok, well dinner is ready, your father made Curry. And go and get your clean clothes from the laundry room when you’re done eating, and if that wet back burnt or shrunk any of your shirts again you come and tell me and I’ll fire her quicker than she can say home affairs.”
“Of course mother, with Gods grace you can do it”

I get on my knees and pray for forgiveness for having distastefull thoughts about half breed women and our mother Mary. “Actions speak louder than thoughts and my actions are righteous but my mind wanders like the lost black sheep in the city of Sodom waiting to be raped by an Australian… but Lord please forgive my right hand, for it does not know what it does, they forced my hand Lord. They forced my hand !”.

Another pleasure dead is another dog wasted on the highways trying to get back home after chasing a bitch on heat. As the world gradually dwindles its support of my need for the small things which keep me happy like worshiping the Lord, playing my accordion and getting the odd blow job here and there I start to wonder if maybe the Lord confused my birth and accidentally cursed me to this life of mediocrity by swapping my life with Ray maccauly’s during his divine and intricate process of creation. Maybe I should buy a hamster? But they piss too much and that combined with old wood shavings wouldn’t make my mother too happy…I could get a corn snake and hide it in my sock drawer but then people would think my allegiance is to Lucifer, but then again maybe all these kaffirs would finally leave me alone and I can finally be a man respected for the fear he instills in men and the semen he injects in women. David Koresh, Barrack Obama, Eugene Terreblanche were all men of God with great followings, and maybe I too will have women at my feet and they will feed me grapes with their pussy lips and spit wine into my ass and I will shit it right back out into their mouths and watch them become intoxicated of my soul. I will be a real God and they just don’t make them like that anymore for some reason.

On most days when I’m not reading the bible or selling counterfeight cigarettes to cane cutter shop owners I like to listen to country and western music and take long walks in the park, I also like to take flu medication to numb the pain in my heart and of course the shame of masturbating up to 5 times a day on a regular basis to black porn which I think I kind of hate but I still watch anyway because I’m too broke to download my own porn so I’m just sort of stuck with what I steal from my Zimbabwean and Zambian friends who aren’t really my friends. Yes I really do have a girlfriend and Her name is Leandre, but everyone calls her Lea, but what everyone does not know is that Lee and her winging vagina are in cahoots with each other to ruin my life.

Leandre came back to South Africa 3 years ago after living in Germany and working first as a line worker in donut factory, she made the holes in the donuts in a assembly line full or polish and Armeninan women and then within a year she became a a music video director and she returned to South Africa with a splendid portfolio of films, a list of famous men she’d fucked she’d written at the back of a New Young Pony Club flyer and a German accent, yes she picked up a German accent. I actually always admired her for that, even though she once cheated on me with a homeless man who dressed up in what they call “street wear” and had a tattoo’s of Chinese shit on him. But I always admired a German accent on a Congolese woman.

We once to hartebeespoort for a weekend, it was here that I first heard her and her vagina conversing together while she thought I was passed out from drinking too much wine and eating too much wild game meat. In my short spell of sleep I dreamnt I took Lauren Beukes out for a veggie burger at Royale and then i took her to the offices of One small Seed and fucked her on the floor with everyone watching and cheering on as she screamt “ Don’t cum inside of me !”.
“eehhhh…I’m sick, I cant do it my love” I thought that lord of the rings was playing on the television, but it was clearly two voices coming from the bathroom.
“But were on holiday, I want to please him”
“tell him were bleeding my precious, and tell him that were feeling gassy from the game meat…stick your fingers deeper, it wont come out if you keep pussy footing like that”
“I wish he would just rape me and get it done with”
“But my precious, were bleeding, rapists don’t go for bleeders.”
Then a drum started playing alongside some African chants that went something like “ jhoo bhoo bhoo eh!”, I check the television to see whether Lady Smith Black Mambazo are on Vh1 but its still an episode of Mythbusters where theyre trying to prove whether “pulling out” can actually prevent pregnancy or not.

“Who were you talking to on the phone last night?” I asked her the next morning in a brain thumping haze of a hangover, “nobody, you’re insane, you drink too much”. I was vomiting.
“So who was playing the bongos then? I didn’t see anyone wearing sandals around here”
“You’re stupid”.
“How’s about a hand job then?”

Beverly has been missing for 5 months, she disappeared right after she sent a flurry of crude messages to her best friends Lee and housmate Frederick, a Congolosese sculptor who takes too much anti-depressents and generally has a great way of “killing the vibe” with his long sullen face, musty under arms and inexplicable mop of hair on his head. Bev is a sexy mulatto with a high IQ and a wallet to match, she’s the type of woman whom you’d eat a three course meal in front of while she takes a big old smelly beer shit, wipe her ass for her and then bite off her dingle berries with your teeth as a digestif.

Lee and Bev had become friends under some strange incestual circumstances which are common place when livivng in cape Town. Apart from their love for Keith Harring, Mint Granita’s, white wine and Johnny Depp’s performance in Whats eating Gilbert grape? lee and bev didn’t have much in common except that they had slept with the same famous men and somewhere along the line they were like “fuck it, let dead dogs die with their jizz and lets be friends”, but then somewhere along the line Bev eventually got fed up with Lee and her vagina always talking foul about her and never really being around to console her vagina when it started talking crazy things to her and she didn’t know anything about such a tiresome situation. Beverly drove an old grey Ferrari from the 80’s, she never refurbished it, everyone wanted to fuck her or love her, even the fags did, and then she sent some text messages along the lines of “ eat my poo and die” to everyone in her phone book except for me and then she died and reappeared five months later. God is great, his power is divine, Lazarus, Jesus and Beverley.
Some people told me she commited suicide, and some said she got aids and went to Bali to go die silently by herself. I asked around the for the real facts and whether she’d left a will or not, but I heard nothing, and now here she was, standing right in front of me at some art fag party where I’m trying to sell some heavily cut mixture of kat, Omo and meth and hand out flyers for my church group next week.
Her vagina has clearly stopped talking her to because her yellow caramel Malay skin was glowing like she’d just had triplets or was fucked by a child soldier with a mans name as she stood there in a bubble dress that was slightly hiked up and showing off her new summer body and mind that just said “Like the burning bush in the dessert, I appear here only for you to show you the way of the Lord”.

“Hello Beverly, I see youre still alive and well…really well”
“Are you bummed?” She say’s with a flick of sass in her French manicured finger.
“No, I actually kind of missed you, I poured out some liquour for you”
“Were you hoping I was going to drown in heaven?” That’s why I always liked her, her love for death is equal to mine, she wants to go out in a hail of bullets with her parents watching while I suck on her clitoris and a high school marching band plays Pomp and Circumstance.
“Don’t be like that, you know I’ve always respected your disposition, we were supposed to be like Julius Ceasar and Cleopatra you and I.”
“You know I like you” she say’s with her legs slightly parted and her hands on her hips, her eyes starring intensely into mine while I shy away genuinely smitten and trying to hide the bulge exposed through my skinny jeans.
I then get a text message from Lee that reads “ I love you babe, good nite,x.o.” Does that mean she’s drinking Hennesey?
“Well Beverley, I heard you’re going to London, where would that leave me if you like me so much then?” I don’t know where I learnt to talk like this, usually I start off by telling women their turds smell great before I even get to eat their turds if I’m lucky.
“ you can marry me and come with me, we can travel all over Europe on a train and I’ll bring in the bacon while you do whatever it is you do”. I don’t know if that was an insult but I was still thoroughly aroused.
“Visas are just really hard” she said after some time.
“That’s Gods will baby, that’s God’s will…and with God’s grace…we can do it”.
“How’s Lea doing?”
“Lea’s dead baby, Lea’s dead”.

I never did get to go to London, my Visa application was rejected, but I did get to have sex with Beverly that night. Even though Beverly was cold and stiff and her neck smelt of formaldehyde she was still warm and accommodating even though she had sand in all her nine holes. I think we came at the same time but I’m not sure because I had to rush home not only because I heard the grounds keeper approaching but I also forgot to PVR Top Chef for my sister while she’s out of town on church business. Praise Jesus it feels good to get laid.

HARD TO LOVE VL.1

2010-11-17T22:53:00.000-08:00

I woke up hazy, i had i dream that god brought me into his house and fed me wll,scampi starters, salmon steaks and for the main i had lobster and a fith of cognac....
after din din, god grabbed me by the balls, really hard. i cried. then he proceeded to stick his finger down my throat and forced me to vomit, after i vomitted i died. then i woke up.

So my friends, the time has finally come, i have played my last song,
ive shut the piano i used to sing and fuck on, and now all i have is a brocken banjo, my strecth marks, halitosis and cock..
i loved and i loved till i couldnt receive anymore love, i have lived my life..yes, im only turning 26 next month but i feel like 50..ive been through nasty loves in my life..and i i was about to get married.

and now here i stand, a defeated man..or not? i dont know, my intention is now to upload as music onto this blog before i take the eternal dirt nap. Hard to Love is a series of songs im coming out with...its pretty self explanatory..im hard to love, whether its art or personal shit.

HARD TO LOVE VL.1
http://www.mediafire.com/?ppczbappta4cb

DONT CALL IT A CUM BACK

2010-10-07T22:49:00.000-07:00

A cum back is something that drips from your old lady's chin after eating soup or cock...ive just been way too busy getting all this domestic life 9-5 gwap which has almost led me into another coma..but alas my dear peasants and kaffirs, i have returned with something a little bit diffeent from my usual style...

I know you think this is another big space ground hog day blog about his next elusive album release date...well..it is..my pride has succomed ??? to the fact that a cd print of no more than 500 copies will be happening but the album will be totall"y free for all my poor and Jewish brothers out there.. Album title is now self Title BIG SPACE because Hitler's egomania almost led him to victory but was his ultimate defeat, which is why i unfortunately cant call my next album "My anus smells great"

THESE TUNES HAVE BIGGGGG BASSSS..ENJOY.

DOWNLOAD NEW SINGLES HERE

TOO HIGH VIDEO!

2010-05-17T23:00:00.000-07:00

YEP...DONT KNOW WHAT TO SAY REALLY, IM THE FAT WHITE GUY WITH A BEARD.

NEW DOWNLOAD: NEW STYLEE

2010-05-17T03:40:00.000-07:00

Actually this isnt a new style for me, ive been trying to make cinematic/ electronic jazz style structured compositions for a while, the only difference bewteen now and say 10 years ago is that i no longer sound like Aim or DJ shadow on crystal meth...this is probably by far the worst ever description for a song...so just download it...This one is dedicated to my lady and our favourite salad..SASHIMI SALAD..

DIAMOND HEAD

BUT WAIT! THERES WHORES!!
BONUS BEAT FOR THE DUBSTEP AND GRIME FOLKS..THIS ONE IS DUTTY and Uber dark in a cane cutting manner

cLICK HERE to get dowloadable folder of big space music

MINUTES OF THE WEEKEND

2010-05-17T01:10:00.000-07:00

13 MAY: Thursday

My girlfriend tells me that theres an SABC job to be done, im the assiatant stylist, R1000 a day for 8 days, thats R 8000, i agree. We wait for production budget of R21000 to be deposited. It never arrives. We have no electricity, we drink wine and play 30 seconds in the dark till we fall asleep.

14 MAY :Friday

The budget has not arrived yet, we spend the day scrounging for coins to call the jewish man in charge of production, i have one cigarette the whole day but plenty of weed. We try to watch a horrible movie starring Val kilmer and 50 cent on my laptop but give up half way through. Still no electricity, Slept at 7 pm as soon as it got dark. Woke up at 1:30 after having a dream where i had an albino baby who was also mutated in some way, he was kind of cute, then a a giant circular space ship emereged out of my parents swimming pool. Woke up in a pool of sweat. Decided to go stay over at my parents for the night, watched South Park and The Wire reruns and fell asleep.

15 MAY :Saturday

Woke up at 8am, rushed to pick up my girlfriend to meet the jew man about the pre production budget, check the bank account and its in. We use some of it to pay for the rent and electricity bill. We rush to the city center to buy outfits for the advert, on our way we see a man showering in his bathroom with his ass in our view. Not cool at all. At 6 pm once we finish our job we realise that the electricity company doesnt work on the weekend, still no electricity. We go to Greenside to some new faggy place called the office. We have 15 mins till happy hour ends so we buy a capirianha, vodka martini and a long island ice tea at half price. We leave and have one more beer at mamathemba down the road..this eventually turns into 10 beers and 5 whiskeys once Kim arrrives we discuss making a movie. I got into a fight with some guy named Russel because i thought his name was Alex. I passed out and my girlfriend had to drive us home, she was stopped a road block and cried her way out of it. I peed in the bed and told my girlfriend it was sweat.

16 MAY :Sunday

Woke up at 8:30 and went outfit shopping again at 9am, everything was closed. we start to stress but end up finding alot of shit at a flea market. Lunch was a salmon salad with cream chesse and then a sushi platter we couldnt finish, the bill cost us R421, i had two beers. preproduction meeting at 6pm till 8pm at a fancy downtown apartment, i yawn the whole way through. We get back home and have a nandos grille dchicken salad, i got out to the balcony for a cigarette with warm glass of shitty graca white wine, i see the next door neighbour having a shower, i see her tits and a bit of her vag, she's a single mother.

KAFFIR FACE

2010-05-17T00:21:00.000-07:00

MY CURRENT FAVOURITE BLOG
KAFFIR FACE

MINISTER OF ART FAGS

2010-05-07T01:28:00.000-07:00

This is one of the prints of me and my queen from kudzanai Chiruai's exhibition called Communists and Hot wings.
Each print is worth about R10000000(neg) and you can get them at
www.goodman-gallery.com
But i'm still broke as fuck though...shit makes no sense..fuckin art fag life..i'm also in the fader blog again, big up my nigga J-Dawg at Fader.

MY GIRLFRIENDS TITS ARE BIGGER THAN YOURS!

SPACE STEP (NEW TUNE!)

2010-05-06T01:11:00.000-07:00

Been feeling like a mixture of emo and enthusiasim so ive been making alot of dub step and grime as of late, this little gem has Barrington levy crooning about bitches living on the edge of the condom, while the dark bass and breathing sample make me feel like a good old fashioned raping...HOPE YOU ENJOY IT! this is my finest dubstep tune to date DOWNLOAD HERE!

BUT WAIT! THERES MORE..due to all the monetary delays involved with releasing my album( hint hint, someone sponsor me or fucking sign me!) here's a free tune to keep your beaks wet. This one is a house tune with some cane cutting samples and wobbling bass, stritly for the kaffirs in the VW golf and ting. Enjoy.

Big space-CANE CUTTER RIDDIM

BANGERS BALL: SAY NEW TUNE!

2010-03-22T10:09:00.000-07:00

WA WA WE WA!

Fuck what you heard, did you know that this year is my year? fuck the SOCCER world cup and whatever is popping off in Haiti(i'm kind of joking about Haiti but serious too..im also hungry), its all about the BIG SPACE album, and so what i'm having a hard time deciding whether to call it TROPICAL FANTASY or FULL RETARD...SEND SOME SUGGESTIONS TO Biznessface23@gmail.com and do it real soon because this bitch is out in a week and a half....enough talk...heres something for your stereo in the mean time, FREE DOWNLOAD AS USUAL, its also off the new album,its pure tropical bass i tell you.

ALSO BIG UP FADER MAGAZINE AS USUAL FOR THE LOVE.

BIG SPACE- I KNOW YOU (Pitbull Vs The wandering Jew)

DUPPY SEASON: NEW TUNE!!

2010-03-11T06:59:00.000-08:00

GREENSIDE STEP DOWNLOAD IT HERE

ITS BEEN A LONG TIME, THE LORD HAS BLESSED US WITH ANOTHER BANGER BY HIS BELOVED WELL HUNG SON, BIG SPACE GIOVANNVI MOOROSI. THIS IS FOR EVERYONE IN GREENSIDE WE HAVE LOVED, HARRASED, MOLESTED AND THREATENED WITH PHYSICAL VIOLENCE.

DOWNLOAD IT, BLOG ABOUT IT, JERK ME OFF, I'M PRETTY LIBERAL ABOUT IT.
ALBUM OUT IN TWO WEEKS, I PROMISE. TROPICAL FANTASY:Operation Sweating Bullets

I DIIIID IT...I LOVE RAP

2010-01-13T12:39:00.000-08:00

Do you remebr rap battles..those were the daYS mang..check this out..

my man ELI Porter..the dudes who shot this have a sick sense of humour but god its brilliant..."i'm the best man, i diiiid it...." "Youre like Rosie o Donnel at a bisexual bridal shower...I dit it. RETARD STYLEE.

Big up MARVO-O...BEST HOST ON EARTH..

eish..now wrestlers battle...this is so funny i have to write gay shit like ROFLMAO..OR LOL...LOLZ

THE EAGLE HAS LANDED

2010-01-10T06:30:00.000-08:00

Hi Julle!

And so i return, pop the poppers and channel the champagne up your anus. Where have i been? well Sir, ive been to hell and purgatory and now i'm back. The black Dante Allegieri of Sandton was spening his R&R in a mental hospital and of course South Africas finest jail cell in Parkview. I am a child of the institution, boarding school, University, prison, Crescent clinic mental hospital. I am a traveller and soldier of misfortune, a mecenaray of tears and beers a hunter of human skins.

prison sucked balls, and so was the "rehabilitation". I'll tell you all about it in my book and alittle snippet on my blog to keep your cunts and cocks wet in the mean time as i scrounge for patrons to fund the research involved writing the book. WHERE ARE THE RICH WHITE FOLKS? WET MY BEAK PLEASE.

I have not been cured of my illness, my illness is for life so deal with it you cunts. Drugs are cool and alcohol is the cure for cancer.

"FIVE SECONDS AGO I WAS REAL TIRED,RIGHT NOW I HAVE ENERGY...I COULD GET UP AND WALK TO THE MOON...I'M LEAVING RIGHT NOW...IM GOING BACK WHERE I CAME FROM"

FASHIONIGGER

2009-11-02T11:24:00.000-08:00

You Dun know! who would have thought that your humble old ugly but fuckable narrator would ever be a model? Well it seems that some people with warped senses of humour or a fetish for absurdly huge ingrown hairs thinks im a sexy little animal.

Heres a photoshoot i just did for the Jeremy Scott Adidas Range for the Team Uncool blog

Photos are by Chris Saunders

PUT YOUR DRINK DOWN NEVER

2009-09-15T01:30:00.000-07:00

Celebration time, its a picture celebration. This is to celebrate my tune, 'Put your drink down' getting over 100000000000 downloads so far, i'm kind of like Garth Brooks of the underground internet game. So to celebrate this joyous occasion, ive put together a series of pictures of me(obviouslly) celebrating the one thing that i will NEVER do which is to PUT MY DRINK DOWN.This is for two reasons, 1. I dont want roofies, 2. I'm an alcoholic. So do enjoy and laugh at my expense, but please look at how ive progressed, first i was like all....errrr dont know how to describe it, but the best word for it would be my favourite all time word...DISCOMBOBULATED.

This is me and my brother Mvels.a.k.a Boats, Planes and BOATS

Me and Kayrab on News Years eve 2007, im looking pretty crusty i must say.

Me and Lungi (RIP) at our honours class journalism awards, we both won nothing. I love you though.

still havent drank this yet..

Been hitting the bottle since highschool..thats me with the afro and spectacles.

Anthea,Kayrab and myself on her 21st Bday. I vomitted twice that night!

SIBI LOVES MORE THAN ALCOHOL

Me and Roseanne the fashion designer,photo by Chris Saunders

Slush Puppy Kids

Maphuti, aka Phuti

CLAIRE!!!!

WIFEY!!!!

Team Uncool party with Murray

OVER THE TOP NIGGER CIRCA 2002

WIFEY

ALCOHOL ROCKS, LIKE PUFFY SAID, CANT STOP, WONT STOP, DO YOU HAVE ANY WEED?

SEXY TINGS A GWAN ! !

2009-09-13T11:28:00.001-07:00

Here are some big boy tunes which i cant get enough off for the past couple of months or so. The summer over here is going to be ridiculous. These arent new tunes but theyre still good enough to play when making out with your old lady or mother if the latter is your thing. The daisy dukes are already out and the bubble dresses are popping and its all very nice isnt it? Indeed it is.

Nutty Nys- Nka Mo Dira..This is going to be massive, it just came out. The pedi poetry is too beautiful for my ears, the choir, the video. super.super.

Phumeza -Indoda Yakho...Im loving the coloured vocalist, the dances, the durban house stylee, the beach, its too much blood, its too much!

ENUR- Calabria 2007..Rest in Peace Enur, so pretty..had to die so young, this one is a classic. "whoop whoop!"

Tiga- Shoes...Hands down one of the best music videos ive ever seen, the song is also fucking monster.

Pitbull- Ay Chico...Pitbull is my role model. He is also my style icon and all round musical genious.

TODAY WAS A GOOD DAY

2009-09-02T10:10:00.000-07:00

Had one of those super day's that reminded me that life can be pretty fucking dope if you forget about all the people who try to drown you in their pools of pity, insecurity, lies and all kinds of other malarchy and bad mind tings.

Today me and the Wife went on a colossul shopping and kissing spree in the hot city, i got a Pierre Cardin suit and sky blue Yetting plim sole shoes and a couple of t-shirts, then i almost cried when the wife bought me a Yves Saint Laurent shirt to match my Pierre Cardin. I love that girl.

Then we finished the day off at Chuckleberry's Burgers in Rivonia, where she had the Californian gourmet burger with guacamole, cheese, onions and bacon and a coke and i had the Jamaican burger, which has pineapple and bacon with a coke and a windhoek lager.

Were the best team since fucking Mobb Deep...but i hope havoc and prodigy dont make make out and go on shopping sprees..that would suck.(no pun, no homo).

A LITTLE UNKNOWN FACT.. ITS ABIT EMBARASSING BUT WHAT THE FUCK..ME AND THE WIFE LOVE DMX..PEEP THIS CLASSIC."SINCE YOU GAVE ME THE PUSSY THAT ASS IS GETTING FATTER"

MORE HATE MORE LOVE

2009-09-01T16:15:00.000-07:00

INSPECTOR MOOROSI IS AT IT AGAIN ON THIS ONE, TOXIC AVENGER REVIEW FOR MAHALA.CO.ZA READ IT HERE..

ITS HERE!ISLUSH PUPPY KIDS E.P OUT NOW

2009-08-25T03:48:00.000-07:00

BEEN WAITING FOR THIS DAY THE WHOLE YEAR, IT TOOK ALOT OF BLOOD,SWEAT, TEARS, PISS, WEED, SHIT AND SALIVA TO MAKE THIS EP POP, AND NOW IT WILL BE AVAILABLE ON 28 august FRIDAY!!!YAAAAYYYY...

SO HERE IS THE TEASER MIX FOR THE ALBUM, WHICH IS SO GOOD IT MAKES ME WANT TO SLAP MY OWN MOTHER, AND LET ME TAKE THIS TIME TO GIVE ANOTHER THANK YOU AND SHOUT OUT TO SCHLATHOFBRONX AND EVERYONE AT DISKO B RECORDS WHO MADE THIS SHIT POP OF!!LOVE YOU...AND OF COURSE A SPECIAL SHOUT OUT AND A HUG FOR MY BROTHER SPOEK FOR ALL THE TIME AND PATIENCE.

download the mix here

>

check the epk over herrrreee

AND YOU CAN BUY THE ALBUM FROM THE FOLLOWING FINE AND DANDY SEXY ALBUMS[JUST COPY THE LINK INTO YOUR BROWSER]

https://www.beatport.com/de-DE/html/content/track/catalog/?performerId=114238&contextType=artists&contextEntityId=114238&orderBy=trackPublishDate%20DESC%2C%20releaseId%20DESC
http://www.junodownload.com/artists/Schlachthofbronx/releases/
http://www.zero-inch.com/artist/Schlachthofbronx/album/Schlachthofbronx/106228
http://www.apple.com/search/ipoditunes/?q=schlachthofbronx
http://www.boomkat.com/item.cfm?id=221496
http://www.soulseduction.com/common/item_detail.php?ItemCode=B309439
http://peoplesmusicstore.com/catalogue_items/497163
http://www.nuloop.com/en/mp3/detail/18690/schlachthofbronx_schlachthofbronx.html

MY GIRLFRIEND IS BETTER THAN YOURS

2009-08-16T10:26:00.000-07:00

10 REASONS WHY MY GIRLFRIEND IS WAAAY BETTER THAN YOURS, WATCH:

1.SHE'S A WET BACK LIKE ME.

2.SHE DRESSES TO THE NINES JUST TO HANG OUT AT MY HOUSE OR WHEN WE GO TO THE PARK.

3.SHE HAS A WET NOSE.

4.SHE CAN DRAW AND COOK.

5.SHE LAUGHS AT 90% OF MY JOKES,(EXCEPT MANDELA AND OBAMA JOKES)

6.SHE SPEAKS ZULU(WHICH ELIMINATES THE CHANCES OF ME GETTING HARASSED BY CAR GUARDS)

7.SHE GIVES ME ALOE,POMEGRANITE AND DEVILS CLAW JUICE WHEN IM HUNGOVER.

8.SHE ALWAYS SAYS SHE LOVES ME BEFORE SHE CALLS ME A CUNT FACE.

9.SHE DOES A GREAT IMPERSONATION OF A DOG DRINKING FROM A BOWL.

10.SHE HAS LARGE MAMMARY GLANDS(TITS).

HONOURABLE MENTION: SHE LOVES DOGS.

LOVE YOU CUNT FACE, MY AFRICAN NUBIAN BLOOD DIAMOND HEAD QUEEN.

IM IN HEAVEN, WITH MY GIRLFRIEND, MY LOVELY GIRLFRIEND.

MAHOW! MAHOW!

2009-08-13T12:34:00.000-07:00

My friend Neil Mayer spends waaay too much time on the internet, but i love him for it cause he discovers jams like this. Nelson De La Rosa...i love small people because i'm a midget too, but when theyre Dominican and brilliant dancers it almost makes me want to cry or commit a rape. RIP Nelson De La Rosa..

This song is banging...so is the Michael Jackson routine.

JUST ANOTHER KID THROWING UP

2009-08-11T10:35:00.000-07:00

Another one from www.Mahala.co.za, Inspector Moorosi was checking out the good ol boys from Mtikidu's album launch and art exhibition. Read it here

And big up Mtikidu for the warm and cordial launch. Shout out to Murray's pitbull 'geezer'.

SHIT KICKER, FIRE IN A THEATER

2009-08-09T13:46:00.000-07:00

I keep the white man shook. Little review i did, oh, your boy Big Space also dj'd there. Read the story HERE

FROM BAVARIA WITH LOVE

2009-08-09T12:51:00.000-07:00

Just got Another super special from the Schakkerhart boys, nice one for the dj's. Enjoy folks. Dont you guys want to fly me down to Germany and put some Deustch marks in my pockets? a beer at least?

GET IT HERE

Schakkerhart.com pres. Major Lazer - Gun's Don't Kill People... Lazer Do - The Remixes

1. Major Lazer ft. Santigold & Mr. Lexx - Hold The Line (Fr33m4n Bootleg)
2. Major Lazer ft. Santigold and Mr. Lexx - Hold The Line (Toadally Krossed Out Remix)
3. Major Lazer ft. Santigold and Mr. Lexx - Hold The Line (Edu K Rmx)
4. Major Lazer ft. Santigold & Mr. Lexx - Hold The Line (Skratch Bastid Wipe Out Riddim Refix)
5. Major Lazer ft. Santigold & Mr. Lexx - Major Lazer ft. Santigold and Mr. Lexx - Hold The Line (Robot Koch Remix)
6. Major Lazer - Hold The Line (Feat. Santigold & Mr. Lexx) (Poirier remix)
7. Major Lazer - Hold The Line (Niggaz On Crack Trompeta Remix)
8. Major Lazer - Hold The Line (Tommie Sunshine, Il Diablo & Mixin' Marc Remix)
9. Major Lazer ft. Santigold and Mr. Lexx - Hold The Line (Audio Dakoos 'Lazers On Stun' Remix)
10. Major Lazer - Hold The Line (Golden Gloves Wobble n Shake Remix)
11. Major Lazer - Bay Of Figs
12. Major Lazer ft. Santigold & Mr. Lexx - Pon de floor How i LIke it (BeatauCue remix)
13. Major Lazer ft. Santigold & Mr. Lexx - Major Lazer ft Mr. Lexx and Santigold "Hold the Line" (Emynd's "Turn My Swag On" Blend)
14. Major Lazer ft. Santigold & Mr. Lexx - Major Lazer ft Mr. Lexx and Santigold "Hold the Line" (Emynd's "I'm Illy" Blend)
15. Major Lazer ft. Santigold & Mr. Lexx - Major Lazer "Zumbie" ft. Andy Milonakis
16. Major Lazer ft. Santigold & Mr. Lexx - Hold The Line (Danny Scrilla Dubstep Remix)
17. Major Lazer ft. Santigold & Mr. Lexx - Hold The Line (The Not Sures Remix)
18. Major Lazer ft. Santigold & Mr. Lexx - Hold The Line (Johnny Roxx Remix)
19. Major Lazer ft. Santigold & Mr. Lexx - Baby (Figure Remix)
20. Major Lazer ft. Santigold & Mr. Lexx - Hold The Line (Skream Remix)
21. Major Lazer - Lazer Boom 1
22. Major Lazer - Major Lazer - Hold The Line Omri Anghel Remix MS
23. Major Lazer - Hold The Line 2 (Ming Remix)
24. Major Lazer ft. Santigold & Mr. Lexx - Hold the Line (SKASEII Remix)
25. Major Lazer - Hold the Line - NROTB Remix
26. Major Lazer ft. Santigold & Mr. Lexx - Hold The Line (Djedjotronic Mix)
27. Major Lazer ft. Santigold & Mr. Lexx -Hold The Line Antennae Remix
28. Major Lazer - Hold the Line ft. Santigold and Mr. Lexx (Nacey Remix)
29. Major Lazer ft. Santigold & Mr. Lexx - Hold The Line (DZ RMX)
30. Major Lazer ft. Santigold & Mr. Lexx - Hold The Line ft. Santigold & Mr. Lexx (Futures Remix)
31. Major Lazer feat Baby Cham - Call Mi (Dave Kelly's Hold The Line Remix)
32. Major Lazer ft. Santigold & Mr. Lexx - Pon De Floor ft. Vybz Kartel (Ernold Sane Remix)
33. Major Lazer ft. Santigold & Mr. Lexx - Jump Up ft. Supahype (Sticky K Remix)
34. Major Lazer - Hold The Line (Coin Operated Boy Remix)
35. Major Lazer ft. Santigold & Mr. Lexx - Hold The Line (black lights remix)
36. Major Lazer ft. Santigold & Mr. Lexx - Major Lazer Hold The Line (Unsexxy's Calorón Forever Remixx)
37. Major Lazer - Hold The Line (Tommie Sunshine Reggacid Mix)
38. Major Lazer ft. Santigold & Mr. Lexx - Hold the Line (LehtMoJoe Remix)
39. Major Lazer ft. Santigold & Mr. Lexx - Mr. Lexx and Santogold - Hold the line (Mega Velocity Remix)
40. Major Lazer ft. Santigold & Mr. Lexx - Major Lazer ft. Santigold and Mr. Lexx - Hold The Line (Kozee Remix)
41. Major Lazer - Hold The Line-Sabbo Remix
42. Major Lazer ft. Santigold & Mr. Lexx - Hold The Line (Shakeyface's Ragga Massive Remix)
43. Major Lazer - Hold The Line (DJ C Remix)
44. Major Lazer ft. Santigold & Mr. Lexx - Major Lazer at The Levi's®/FADER Fort
45. Major Lazer ft. Santigold & Mr. Lexx - Major Lazer - Hold The Line (Beatstreet Static Age Serato Edit)
46. Major Lazer ft. Santigold & Mr. Lexx - Major Lazer ft Mr. Lexx and Santigold "Hold the Line" (Emynd's "Hard Drop Riddim" Blend)
47. Major Lazer ft. Santigold & Mr. Lexx - Hold The Line (Tommie Sunshine & Mixin Marc remix)
48. Major Lazer - Hold The Line (DVW Remix)
49. Major Lazer ft. Santigold & Mr. Lexx - Hold The Line (Remix)
50. Major Lazer ft. Santigold & Mr. Lexx - Major Lazer ft Mr. Lexx and Santigold "Hold the Line" (Emynd's "Ain't I" Blend)
51. Major Lazer ft. Santigold & Mr. Lexx - Hold The Line (Sparkletone Remix)
52. Major Lazer ft. Santigold and Mr. Lexx - Hold The Line (Perfect Loosers Remix)
53. Major Lazer ft. Santigold and Mr. Lexx - Hold The Line (Primus Luta's How U Do It Remix)
54. Major Lazer ft. Santigold and Mr. Lexx - Pull Up The Line (Twist It! Goes Baile Funk Mashup
55. Major Lazer ft. Santigold and Mr. Lexx - Hold The Line (Bootyslapperz Mix)
56. Major Lazer ft. Santigold and Mr. Lexx - Hold The Line (Kid Queasy Remix)
57. Major Lazer ft. Santigold and Mr. Lexx - Hold The Line (Marvel Kutcorners Remix)
58. Major Lazer ft. Santigold and Mr. Lexx - Hold The Line (Prince Zimbo Freestyle)
59. Major Lazer ft. Santigold and Mr. Lexx - Hold The Line (Short Stories Remix)
60. Major Lazer ft. Santigold and Mr. Lexx - Hold The Line (Trekk Dub)
61 Major Lazer - Keep It Goin Louder ft Nina Sky (Diplo Remix)

HIVIP: UNITED STATES OF AYOBANESS

2009-08-04T03:54:00.001-07:00

PURE BEAUTY

TRACKLIST
FEVER - SPOEK & SO CALLED FRIEND (HOSTAGE REMIX)
BONGO JAM - CRAZY COUZINZ (BOKBOK & L-VIS1990 REFIX)
AKUSE - ALCAPOEM
ALMIGHTY FATHER - SUNSHIP FT WARRIOR QUEEN (SOLID GROOVE REMIX)
WONTON GARDEN - MATT SHADETEK
DEM NAH LIKE IT - SPOEK MATHAMBO & JAHDAN BLACKAMORE & 77KLASH
BULLETPROOF - LA ROUX (FOAMO REMIX)
WARDANCE - FOAMO
DANCE, DANCE, DANCE - LYKI LI (BURAKA SOM SISTEMA)
BITCH MADE - KASI HOUSE MAFIAS
DREAMS - DJ WHAT WHAT
I'MA TELL YOUR MAMA ON YOU - RED THE HOMELESS GFUNK BEATBOX

PIGGISH MENTALITY

2009-08-04T03:48:00.000-07:00

Ive been quite a glutton for everything these day's, pretty fucking disgusting but it feels pretty fucking good. It feels good to Feel good.

PLAYING WITH PENS (RE-UPS TO PARTY UP'S)

2009-07-20T03:39:00.000-07:00

Woop woop motherfuckers, catch me this Friday playing at a Art exhibition for my nigga nolan and Fuzzy slippers. Fancy Magazines, original art, limited edition shit everywhere for sale, black art school girls who will suck your dick if you say you once met Damien Hirst, sushi, finger foods, Big Space,love, energy and lust. perfect for this satanic winter.

I Havent been to Melville since my Chevy got violated by some in-breds, so let this be a word of advice to all the real niggas and playas who are attending this wonderfull event in that trecherous neighborhood...Dont park your coups on 4th avenue.Cant do it playa, you cant!

Check the FaceBook group

Host: mafuta ink
Type: Music/Arts - Exhibit
Network: Global
Date: Friday, July 24, 2009
Time: 6:00pm - 11:00pm
Location: Mafuta Ink Pop Up - Shop 4c, 7th str. Melville
Street: 7th Street, Melville

Email: nolan.o.dennis@gmail.com

BLOOD, SWEAT, TEARS, SHIT, PISS AND SALIVA

2009-07-20T02:59:00.000-07:00

"yo, yo ,yo yo, motse wa ka wa thubela"- Caiphus Semenya

Its been one of those typical Big Space weeks...drama,drama,drama. Lights camera's and over the top action, Dolph Lungren slap boxing with Bruce Willis in a pool of sharks while Cynthia Rothrock watches with night vision goggles while riding Dwayne Johanson (The Rock) in reverse cowboy position to the sounds of Vangelis. It all ends with Charles Bronson getting a bionic arm which can interpret Hebrew and also has an espresso machine and a 357 magnum, the bionic arm is then used to kill Clint Eastwoods family while they were watching "Two and a half men".

The world is a new place for me, i feel like i was born yesterday, which explains my young sexy looks, but it sure is a mental cock block. Lesson for the day, dont play with them, play them, because fancy toys always break.

Listen to some Caipuhs, this is music for niggas who arent ashamed to cry but still get some pussy here and there if its in Gods will.

GERMAN NICHE SUPERSTAR

2009-07-15T07:09:00.000-07:00

Ive got alot of people in Germany playing on the space team, which feels uber great because no one out here seems to give too much of a shit. I fucking love Germans and Bavarian's and their little green shorts and suspenders. They make good shit like Porsche's, Paulaner Beer, faeces fetish porn and 99 red balloons. The boys from SCHAKKERHART HAVE JUST SENT ME THIS LITTLE FUNKY SERVING OF A MIX. ITS PRETTY WET WET WET.

GET IT HERE

BUCK FIFTY

2009-07-15T06:51:00.000-07:00

Right now i'm smiling so hard it looks like I've just stepped out of Rikers Island with a fresh and bleeding buck fifty. Ear to Ear. The "Put your Drink Down" Remix has made it onto Fader, the hub of all cool Europeans in skinny jeans who like to see black sweat. Big up Julianne Escobedo Shepherd for helping me get one step closer to finally getting a chance at sleeping with a white woman with very rich parents.

READ ALL ABOUT ME HERE LADIES.... THE FADER

ART GIRLS LOVE OSKIDO

2009-07-14T18:43:00.000-07:00

I cant get enough of this video, bare laughter in Gallo Manor right now. The dude in Ninjasonik has the best dance moves ive ever seen in a long time BUT theyre second best to Oscar's drunken uncle at a wedding dance, the uncle who always tries to kiss you with a mouthfull of beetroot and potato salad...MONO T JAM.

"Do you stretch your own canvas? we can collaborate, we can get a coffee afterwards, but not at starbucks...that dinky little spot on the corner"

"I like the way you dont comb your hair"

SILK SUIT MAFIAS

MORE TUNE!!!

2009-07-13T11:07:00.001-07:00

Finally...so youve probably heard Township funk, Thembisa funk, Limpopo funk, Pretoria funk, Durban funk. well, i've always been saying that someone from Sandton needs to step up, which obviously means me because i'm practically the mayor of Sandton, and a suspected drug dealer.So here's a little audio slice of life of being a young fly yellow nigger in a white and rich funky world. Big up everyone in Gallo Manor(Gallo grimey), Fourways( 4 ways to die) and Sandown (Lil Brazil)...

Download it here....SANDTON FUNK

LET ME HEAR YOU SAY NEW TUNE!!

2009-07-09T14:06:00.000-07:00

Ive Been pretty pretty pretty(like my face)busy behind the boards as of late, i got some gifts for the winter, some tropical heat, operation "sweating bullets". Just some songs to get you excited for the album. Watch this space,and thats pun intended bitch!

Gonna put up more tunes tonight if my wireless cooperates with a nigga.

Enjoy, heres my remix of Mr. V ~Put your drink down (Big space Remix)

download or stream it, your choice, your life.

PUT YOUR DRINK DOWN (bIG sPACE rEMIX)

http://www.mediafire.com/?njzrolycwnm

DIRTY PROMO

2009-07-08T09:08:00.000-07:00

BIG up Ishasha, looks like were all getting some gigs these days. Kosher time.

WHITE PEOPLE ROCK!

2009-07-06T07:51:00.000-07:00

DIBONO..MARAGO...I LOVE

2009-07-02T11:39:00.000-07:00

This my current favourite website, WWW.ASSPARADE.COM The photography is so beautiful and the composition of the photos is like being French kissed by God with a mouthful of cognac.

JAH JAH CITY (Kaffir School)

2009-07-01T17:51:00.000-07:00

Well,anywhooo...Thanks for hating on me,it makes me work harder, in other words,thanks for the money you just made me!

I know who scratched my car and wrote "Fuck U" on it. Go to school and get a real job, or at least sell cocaine and do something interesting for a change instead of focusing on what other motherfuckers do.....i mean, With all the socks youre smelling everyday, you must have better shit to do than fuck with me..but then again, if i had to smell feet all day whilst being mentally incapable of talking about something thats not about fashion or your non existent aspirations i'd also be an angry sallow hating ass motherfucker,actually i'd be a bad breathed cigarette wetting motherfucker too.

I spit on my hand that i made a peace treay with. Shame on me.

P.S. one of your homies told me your privates look like a bulldog eating mayonnaise.

P.S.S.
HERES SOME WORDS FROM a fellow midget, KATT WILLIAMS

Casera Bitches

Big Space The White Man.

9~5 TYPE OF GUY

2009-06-23T08:57:00.000-07:00

Its time for Inspector Moorosi to do this thing again...its been a while, but fuck it, i still got it..check out this investigative news peice i just did.

http://www.mahala.co.za/culture/sultans-of-swing

"Me never belive you, oh whoaaaa!" ~ Mavado

Big Space

DIRTY DUTTY!!!

2009-06-08T11:08:00.000-07:00

Its about that time ...Bigger Venue, bigger acts and Mr. Bigger SPACE just keeps getting biggerer and biggest as it gets. I"m going back to basics this time round,its time for that Negro house special, its time to get slewed again...BlACK GANG RAPE PARANOIA VOL 1...cumming out between your legs real soon.

This is going to be the third DIRTY! DIRTY! event, and as you KNOW, three is the magic number. So expect some David Blaine pancreas splitting magic when you get to the party. The haters keep hating cause they dont now how to get crowds like we do. Go learn some skills and talents then you can roll like us you cocksuckers...working retail is not a skill or a talent, nor is being an irresponsible mother and a Mos Def groupie.THOSE ARE NOT TALENTS. I REPEAT. NOT TALENT. Coat tail that you petri dish licking bastards.

"I had pepper corns but now i'm the grind, ace on the bass yes i saw the sign"—Big Space

WERE GOING TO HAVE A GOOD TIME REGARDLESS. WE KNOW NOTHING ABOUT ALL STAR PARRRRS...

SPACE

GUN SHOTS FOR KGATAS

2009-06-02T15:28:00.000-07:00

Im actually quite an asshole..and a tad bit ashamed...yes im Evil. Yesterday my brother Spoek Mathambo also known as Nthato James Monde Mokgata got married to a Sexy Lil young thing named Anna Pappazouraliki, AND whom i'm now going to claim as my sister so i can loan money from her. SO HOLLLLEEEEERRRRRRRRRRR

So here's a special rhyme Spoek wrote when he was like a tadpole, this is to commemorate this special moment in his life aS AN ADULT which he wrote when he was like only 2 years old when he wrote this rhyme right hurrr...cause he didnt even know how to talk too good and stuff and all like..and he kept vomitting on me for no apparent incongrusible reason...so heres the rhyme Ok?:

[Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! Check it ! This is Mr. Kgatas,lyrical mzastas,dont call him a man he's a '
'collusus'yo, man check it, fuck it, yo, man, uhm,like fuck it yo!, check it... uhm yo like perpetual skills.. i'm a whole fucking ham and a pasta!!!".[patent claim: [brackets within brackets of [brackets].Holler.]['Holler' is a patent claim of "Kgata and Spazzola Industries Inc".Copy rights Incorporated Nigger]

BUT ON THE REAL!! ITS A HAPPY DAY! CeLEBRATE THAT WITH CHAMPS AND WEED! HAVE A NICE ONE!!!!!WHICH IM SURE BY NOW MEANS YOU MUST BE IN THE BUTCHERY....GETTING YOUR RIGHTFULL CUTS.COLD CUTS. SKABA BONA KA DI KENG KE RENG KENG!KE TLAO WO TLA!!

Dr Space Love, no grammer no correcton no love.....Holler at ur boi...e text bitch!pAlya!

WHITE DEVIL MAFIAS

2009-05-20T02:30:00.000-07:00

COMING SOON, LIKE A FEW DAYS. I'm just showing off my "white" side. Its a niggery blend of Minimal tech, Electro, Tech house, some trashy 8o's pop ballads and of course some Dancehall mash ups.

With Gods Grace

Big Space

CULT LEADER

2009-05-20T01:15:00.001-07:00

Meet Amy, also known as the Bathroom Secretary, but you peasants and lithe feathered phesants can call her CULT LEADER, or just Boss.

Amy is my favourite person of all the new people i've met this year, most people i've met this year now inspire me to devise ways of clubbing them to death with a sock full of 5 cent coins. What makes Amy so spesh and profesh is that she's the future queen of flavour or that thing they call "swagger", Amy is the French Hugenout renaissance woman and Rap Goddess of the universe and Stellenbosch. Amy has saved over 100000 people's live's with her inspirational guidance tapes called "Bitch, I'm back", and she also owns over 20000 mink coats.

Album soon come.

CULT LEADER, CULT LEADER AMY IS THE BOSS.

bIG BABY $PACE

NO, FOR REAL...I KNOW WHITE PEOPLE

2009-05-17T07:26:00.000-07:00

I know white people, i know them better than i know myself..and you know what i also know?They like me. In fact, white people love me. Nobody beleived me at first when i said i know white people, but hey..its true!

On Thursday at Dirty! Dirty! i realised that "wow, its that white yo!" like that real white. I'm talking about wicker garden chairs full of dog hairs, marmite sandwhiches,crocs, Toyota Prius's, divorce courts and cat lovers. I had a pocket full of Robert Downing Jnr and a freckled girl from Stellenbosch with a French surname telling me i'm cute and how she'd love to share pictures of my penis with her cousins in rehab and what not...i was like "i does this, its that white".

Lets also not forget about the broke white girl who said "can you pretty please buy me a drink?" Bramley is hood. Never in my life has a white person, let alone a white girl asked me to buy them a drink..Last year a plus sized jewish white girl asked to borrow R10 from me so she could get herself something to eat...that was quite epic i guess. And i guess it just blew eveything i said out the toilet bowl...Like i said, i know white people. Porcelain. Armitagge Shanks. Its a brand and it works.

I ALSO LIKE DOGS..AND I ONCE HAD A KITTEN. AND IF THIS IS WHAT FAME IS LIKE...LETS JUST SAY I HAVE VITALIGO THEN.

BIG UP ALL MY BLACK PEOPLE STILL BITCHING! WHATS REALLY GOOD! I HAVENT LEFT YOU....YET.

BIG $PACE

AS THE WORLD BURNS

2009-03-22T11:59:00.000-07:00

Apparently we have 100 months to save the planet from the fiery depths of global warming and other nasty evils we have created throughout history, according to some guys with lab coats and thin French moustaches.

That’s scary but what’s scarier is that I have 3 months to save my life. I don’t have an exotic disease that requires an adventure into the Amazon jungle to obtain the antidote; my code alert is to save the planet that is my future and what I plan on doing after I graduate this year. A planet far worse than Mars or The Planet of The Apes.

The world is not big enough for me and my qualms with it. I don’t see why I should be forced to buy a hybrid car just because large corporations that rule the world want to increase productivity and thus ultimately suck the earth dry like a starving child surgically attached to Dolly Parton’s chest. So what can we do? We can recycle and buy unleaded petrol at exorbitant rates, but that’s not good enough for the grandiose big ball of blue matter we call home.

Now we have to build our houses out of a mixture of compressed yak guts and walrus droppings. So what have you done for me lately planet Earth? Where you were when my parents were asking me what am I going to do next year? Isn’t that a good time to start an earth quake just to divert the conversation elsewhere? I bet a tsunami would have put an end to the xenophobic attacks, because black people don’t do well with water, we’d work together to build an arc and sail to the Netherlands just to see what it feels like to take the old spice route created by the Dutch East India Company.

The “natural” order of the earth has basically gone to Lake “Go Kill Yourself” and we’re all cordially invited to bring our swimming costumes along, for the murkiest swim of our lives.

You could be selfish like me and only worry about yourself and the close one’s around you or you could make blockbuster movies like Al Gore that illustrate how were destroying the planet, whilst his Lear Jet sputters more carbon monoxide than Chinese factories.

That is not a stereotype about Chinese people by the way, because black people have never been called polluters apart from the sound pollution that is FUNKY DEEP HOUSE music, because if you didn’t know by now, Chinese people are black too, and some Chinese restaurants have even started to serve chop-suey with pap.

The simple fact here is that the Earth will always destroy itself like it has since the beginning of time in one way or the other, that and Aids is the only thing that is promised in this world. My best bet is just to live your life according to what ever prerogative suits you the most, whether it’s saving the Earth or just washing your car every Saturday before getting ready to drink and drive.

The early bird who gets the worm works for somebody that comes in late and owns the worm farm. We are all worms, lets get used to it, the Earth owns us and there so many different species of birds out there that we’re basically and unfortunately by the natural order of things pretty much screwed. The birds need us for food and the earth needs us to nourish it with our tiny particles of faeces. All we can do with our slimy selves is just keep on borrowing until another Pangaea surfaces that we can ruin all over again.

SPACEVEIN

KISS MY ASS

2009-03-17T12:01:00.000-07:00

"Being famous is so nice, suck my dick, kiss my ass"

Yes, its been silent, but news are soon come. But in the meanwho, dem Slush Boys just made it onto Kiss FM, and even better, it was on Sinden's show. Big up Schlathofbronx once agin, big boy producers.

Check it out here

Life in Space right now is like wiping your ass with a silk shirt when you could use a hoodie. Amiguous weirdness...dont let the title of the blog fool you, i love kiss and i would have never thought my music would be played on Kiss..but meanwhile back at the ranch of my reality and life, i'm living a nightmare which i cant go into right now.

So all you nice show promoters and white people with that cake, please book SLUSH PUPPY KIDS for your show before my talented existence is wasted on cocaine, camel filetrs and journalism. Pay me white man pay me!

BIG SPACE

I WAS ONCE CALLED A KAFFIR BY A COLOURED

2009-02-23T12:56:00.000-08:00

SHUT UP AND DIE

2009-02-23T12:50:00.000-08:00

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU HAVE A NASAL CARRIBEAN VOICE THAT MAKES ALOT OF MONEY AND YOU SPREAD SYPHYLLIS. CHRIS....WHAT CAN I SAY...NOW YOU CAN MAKE A RAP ALBUM AND GET SOME REAL RESPECT FROM THE RAP COMMUNITY.

BEATSTURBIA.

SPACE

MORE HUNS

2009-02-16T11:08:00.000-08:00

The Germans..who would ever thought apart from Sour Kraut that this nation would breed such fine musicians. When Nena did a german cover of 99 red baloons i was confused, but i was in love with pork again. Holla at Yakub...

INTRODUCING Disco Trash Music....just listen to them, i dont feel like writing right now.

SUPERHEAD

2009-02-03T12:37:00.000-08:00

I love Karrine, i love them hoes like Eamon...read her book a while ago and i was laughing like an Alabama coon in a watermelon patch.

The parts about Kool G rap are insane, he used to punish her when she fucked by making her give him apologies, by an apology he is referring to a Blowjob.

WIFEY

2009-02-03T12:31:00.001-08:00

PEEP THE JORDAN'S..AND THAT OTHER STUFF TOO. TOO BLACK TOO STRONG. TOO WRONG AT TIMES BUT STILL SEXY DIRTY.

"GOOD GOOGLY MOOGLY, THAT THANG IS JUICY"- PROJECT PAT

WOOOOOOO!!!!

A BIT CRUDE......

BANGERS BALL

2009-01-29T05:22:00.000-08:00

THE GERMANS HAVE DONE IT AGAIN! WITH WORK LIKE THIS A NIGGA MIGHT EVEN FORGIVE THEM FOR THE HOLOCAUST AND WARTHOG RIBS.

SLUSH PUPPY KIDS
SCHLACHTHOFBRONX

THE FUTURE, LISTEN TO DA NEW BANGERZ....HERE

THE SHAPE OF GIRLS TO COME

2009-01-27T03:51:00.000-08:00

Bad boys from Germany,SCHLACHTHOFBRONX... these guys are doing alot.And whats even better, myself and Spoek Mathombo ($LU$H PUPPY kIDZ) are doing an E.P. produced by them. Munich shottaz. Its going to be big so please keep your moist parts posted to the blogs.

Things are finally looking up for old Big Space.

SCARS, BARS AND PARS

2009-01-20T14:06:00.001-08:00

The ladies man has returned, its been a long time comming but i know that change is not gon come and it can suck my wrinkly dark black phallus. A change has come but its been a change for the worst, not that your beloved SpaceVain the Scarspace or Ladies man has changed but the rasclaats around him have changed. Some are even better off dead.Oh, and Fuck that Nigga Barack with his fake Sam Cooke ass trick father figure nigger shit, its MY TIME TO SHINE NOW.

The Dirtbag has been in Cape Town, the city of CHIPS AND BREAD crusts and mouth's with white crusts on the side from either sucking too much dick or sucking on a lightbulb AND HARDLY ANY BREAD CRUMBS. The views are great but the point of views are hate, "the haters are the male daters, real batty man behaviour" as my friend GodsFather would say.

The trip wasnt all that bad though...i was wyling out like nobody's business, and i got wasted everyday like a stray dog on the high way...right now i'm using dial-up internet so i cant upload the whole show..but stay tuned. The gist of the filth shall strike within the next few days.

PEOPLE, ITS GOOD TO BE BACK...AND TO EVERY BATTY BOY CREASE HOLE IN CAPE TOWN STILL TALKING SHIT BEHIND MY BACK EVEN THOUGH IVE BEEN GONE FOR SO LONG...SUCK YOUR MOM AND GREAT GRAND DAD. PUSSYHOLE.LIKE I SAID BEFORE, I ONLY TALK TO CHICKS.

Yours Truly

The Ladies Man

2008 HONOURABLE MENTION

2009-01-20T13:31:00.000-08:00

Motherfucker. Thats said for emphasis.

I finally made it into a year review. Big up Manny Z for the ultra super good eye for talent scoping and giving up the blessy to SA artists.

Manny runs Citinite records, thats the label that put out the Sweat X e.p. and other funky shits!

Check out what he had to say about me and my song "Summer Gear "in his Best things about the year 2008. READ IT HERE

Thanks Manny.

TO THE HATERS AND IMPARTIAL LOVERS...I TOLD YOU SO.

BIG SPACE

THE TIGER HAS LANDED

2009-01-19T13:20:00.001-08:00

THE EAGLE HAS LANDED

The Ladies man returns...as real as ever...2009...

No time to tell you where ive been and why ive left you lonely all this time, yes it hurts me and i'm sorry if you missed The Ladies man. Too many chickens to pluck and too many fish scales to smell off my fingers. But lets get straight into it..Heres my House mix which i just did for Sgebenga entertainment..( record label started by Spoek and Myself) it called HIV VIP MIX 2, which is the running series of mixtapes by Spoek Mathambo and DJ Master Ca$h.

DOWNLOAD IT HERE

ENTER DJ SNYMAN..thats my DJ name..but im still Big Space and im STILL THE LADIES MAN.

Its hard, its dutty its too much...the last three tracks are songs that i made..tell me what you think. Big Shouts to $poek for making me do this.

Enjoy and please do forgive me. I'm back as ever and i have alot of stories to tell, pics to upload and lives to wreck.

Greetings, strictly for the very important people who got burned.This my first house mix….this effort is very much influenced by the Hutus and Tutsi’s and my big brother Charles Taylor, or Chucky T as he likes to be called by his close friends and family. It is was In the summer of 200and something when me and Chucky took a trip to Aiya Napa and got really bored so we took his private jet adorned with gold encrusted limbs of various 12 year old boys to the sunny shores of Durban, South Africa. While we were in Durban we tag teamed some Zulu girls on a rickshaw and Chucky busted a nut on the driver’s neck. What a riot!

We then had some ice cream.

I got too much tanning done and I ended up with some sun stroke and got holed up in The Marriot hotel while Chucky was chasing Indian hookers. The stroke gave me a lot of time o I made this mix after much urging on from Spoek Mathambo who was in Italy getting his back shaved; he said to me that “Europeans love to see Africans sweat”.

Enjoy

Big Space/ DJ Snyman

WET WET WET

2008-12-15T05:24:00.000-08:00

Big Space shall be djing This Friday at gogo bar in Newtown, come through and get wet with a true war guy. 5 star general...expect some war tunes, dancehall, grime, house, hip-hop, and electro set..mish mash masepa man time.

Go Go Bar 47 Henry Nxumalo Street Newtown, Johannesburg....they have a special bar for White Russians too..the streets are filled with creamy vomit.

And please "let your deceny counteract your piggish mentality.

SCARS, BARS AND PARRS

2008-12-09T11:17:00.000-08:00

Hate in your blood

2008-11-06T11:04:00.000-08:00

Haters go Global!

Spoek Mathambo, the man everyone likes but who you secretly hate because he's so kool he'd probably finger your sister while you watch...and you'd thank him for it.

Leave The Ndebele Monarch alone and let him make his vagina raps as he pleases. Heres an excert from Vice, The do's and dont section.

Some of the comments...that made me laugh.I'm not hating, Mokgata please dont get mad..but this shit is funny.

Anonymous, on Nov 4, 2008 wrote:
"Is that a lady with a man face or a man with a lady body?"

Anonymous, on Nov 3, 2008 wrote:
"Homo erectus found time to pose in his Boubou
and discounted URBAN sneaks after just crossing over to the states"

No wonder why Buju Banton said the east is the best. The western world is too cold.

Playdoe album launch in JHB is on 14 November, look out for it.

Hond Jaags

2008-10-30T07:04:00.000-07:00

Maybe its the summer.

Im in love with Dama Do Bling, she's ghetto, she can rap and she has enormous foreign exotic features that a coloniser would enslave for. I dont know if i like her music or thighs better. I remeber when i saw her live for the first time id seen her on tv before but i didnt know her name. But now i know, heres to you baby! If you havent heard her music, just think Buraka meets Lil Kim in Portugal for a night of rum and cocaine, grey rats and alot of KY gel.

DirtZilla

Random Life, Random Things

2008-10-23T08:17:00.000-07:00

MY WORLDY POSSESSIONS WHICH ALL FIT INTO ONE BAG. A FEW OF MY CAPS.

THIS ONE IS OLD..BUT ITS STILL CUSTOM MADE.

MY SMELLY OLD SHOES.

MY DAILY SMELLY BREAD.

MY THUG KNUCKLES.

THE WHITE GIRL I GAVE HERPES TO. Her face is twisted because she just realised i burnt her, she couldnt even help but fan the burn away.

STOP THE PRESS

2008-10-22T08:23:00.000-07:00

Chairman of Policies of the Finance Department takes a fall. I like how he just ignores the crackling at first...tunnel vision.

MY HUNGRY PUSSY

2008-10-20T12:42:00.000-07:00

The Viscera Continues....

2008-10-17T04:11:00.000-07:00

Was on Gmail chat a few minutes ago talking to a pure bred hater. Hate flows in her veins like the codeine i steal from my grandmother. Apperently i'm falling off because i dont tell stories as much as i used to and expose myself to a world of shit.

Well here's a story that was deemed too crude and offensive to be published by a local newspaper. This also makes me cringe.

You Dirty Little Bugger!

By: The Ladies Man

When the river is flooded some men take the back roads, but then again some men live on the back roads, this back road is not on any road maps and it’s commonly thought to be taken mostly by porn stars and fans of Elton John. Welcome to the scary and shit ridden terrain of anal sex.

Comedian Sarah Silverman once joked: "I didn't lose my virginity until I was twenty-six. Nineteen vaginally, but twenty-six what my boyfriend calls 'the real way.”

Anal sex, which is also known as “going Greek” stemming from Roman age Greek poetry where anal sex became a common subject, which is represented as taking place with "eligible" youths: those who had attained the proper age but had not yet become adults.

Clearly the age of classics was also an age of shady artistic premises and ethics, but our contemporary time is no different and anal sex is moving away from being a taboo to a common sexual practice. Like the Miami rap outfit, 2-Live Crew once said “face down, ass up, that’s the way we like to fuck”.

It’s not all fun and games in the world of buggery though, if the proper precautions are not taken you could be in a world of crap.

According to Dr. Dale Davis who is a general practitioner in Sandton, “Anal sex exposes participants to two principal dangers: infections, due to the high number of infectious microorganisms not found elsewhere on the body, and physical damage to the anus and the rectum due to their vulnerability.”

It’s a high price for pleasure but as the Brooklyn based New York rapper Necro once said:

If I had Donald Trump's cash I'd have a plump ass
Everyday, sucking um and fucking um with no scumbags (condoms).

A very pretty 21 year old Interior Architect from Johannesburg who asked not to be named described anal sex in a visceral but culinary manner:

“Yeah, I tried it once with a guy I dated for over 3 year’s .Well it's like a hot knife cutting through bread. Not butter. You have to prepare your ass mentally. I suggest one be high on something to ease the pain. And it’s always good to start off very slowly and this will take the booty about 20 minutes (if not more) to be at ease with a penis inside. It’s a constipated feeling, like you got to go NOW! It's generally more pleasurable for the male.”

The greatest risk posed is the risk of contracting anal cancer and H.I.V .The incidence of anal cancer the disease has jumped 160% in men and 78% in women in the last thirty years, according to a 2004 cancer study by Fred Hutchinson.

According to Dr. Davis The risk of H.I.V is further increased because the high concentration of white blood cells around the rectum, together with the risk of cuts to the rectum and that one of the functions of the rectum is to absorb fluid, increases the risk of HIV transmission, “not using a condom under these circumstances is like suicide” added Dr. Davis.

GOOD MOURNING

2008-10-17T03:36:00.000-07:00

"RAW IMMA GIVE IT TO YA, WERE LIKE COCAINE STARIGHT OUT OF BOLIVIA"

Had a rough one last nite....

"no matter how many times niggas keep getting burned, niggas never learn"-Bodie, The Wire

I drank a nip of First Watch whiskey by myself last night while making beats, i dont know why i drank it cause the last time i did it turned my insides into soup. i shat like a real man...for 6 days. I thought i had the new virus going around in South Africa thats spread by killer Zambian rats.

This morning while i was brushing my teeth i vomited on my hand and toothbrush. Rough.it just came out, i couldt help it. the choice of image above is the only way to explain how i felt and how i still feel. I cringe at myself these days.

The Ladies Barf Bag

POPEYE MEAT

2008-10-16T03:09:00.000-07:00

Hello dirt eaters and animals alike.

I've been so busy with writing my thesis that i havent had time to let you pet the goats in the child farm of my carnival mind. I'm grinding like Akon on a 6 year old girl grinding harder than a squirell on a Acorn.

I'm on the verge of suicide these days or picking up a drug like crystal meth.The only one thing that keeps me going right now is Meatwad. Aqua Teen Hunger Force, best fucking cartoon ever made since Archie and Jughead. I cant get enough of meatwad..the other day i tried squish up some mince into a ball and stick a smile and eyes on it with cardboard paper..but it just wasnt the same.

DONT YOU JUST WANT TO give MEATWAD A HUG? look at him..."I wanted a bunny rabbit, I was gonna name it Nathan... that's Latin for 'warm' by the way... Nathan Scott Phillips."-Meatwad

Check out this character description they give him wikipedia..more reason for you to watch.
A mostly peaceful, childishly simple-minded mass of compressed meat that was not approved for human consumption, Meatwad rolls and hops to get from one place to another, often picking up whatever dirt or debris happens to be in his way. He has also displayed shapeshifting abilities, and can morph into a hot dog, an igloo, a meat bridge, a "Samurai Lincoln" (intended to be Wayne Gretzky, or Richard Nixon as referred to in season 5), a walking spider-like form, a potted flower, a hand displaying the middle finger, a hammer, a three story office building and various other objects. Meatwad uses meaty appendages in order to manipulate objects.

He can regenerate quickly even from high levels of damage and conditions such as extreme heat, cold, voltage and pressure. He is often the victim of Shake's abuse and practical jokes, though he has periodically reciprocated this treatment, on one occasion convincing him to get plastic surgery from an auto mechanic. He sometimes is lost in his own fantasy world or sees himself as something better or different than what he truly is, such as how he claims that he has hair in one episode or that the Mooninites are his close friends.

He usually has a positive outlook on things, but when something frightens or offends him, he tends to openly start crying like a small child. Meatwad usually sleeps on a grill or brushed nickel colander, but occasionally sleeps on a bed of sand (which also serves as a food source for him). He is also known to make "dolls" out of household items, such as Dewey the paper towel roll, Vanessa the apple, Jeffy the garden hose, and Boxy Brown, a cardboard box

Carl...ASnother bugged out character.My favourite episode is where he gets a shrink ray gun and uses it in reverse to enlarge his penis, this also enlarges his crabs which wound up eating up his whole house and terrifyng the whole neighborhood.

DOWNLOAD THE SHOW HERE

More Meatwad quotes

"Oh, so you just decide that I'm drunk? You can't decide. I make that decision."

" I wanted a bunny rabbit, I was gonna name it Nathan... that's Latin for 'warm' by the way... Nathan Scott Phillips."

"I added food coloring because it's a holiday. But it turned black, because I added all the food coloring I had. Then I ate this butter straight out of the tub, because it tastes good. There's a reason behind everything."

"I find this, highly effiligent, in, edumacationists, for my brain. Because, I am smart boy."

THE LADIES LOVE A MAN WITH MEAT

Weekend Lynching

2008-10-09T04:28:00.000-07:00

So the poll reads that 25% of you are racist and that 75% of you only lynch and hate speech on the weekends.

And this is why i dont go out anymore. But thanks for the honesty, intolerant cocksuckers.

And whats up with white people smelling like dogs when their hair is wet?

why are Indian girls so hairy? why are their fathers so shady?

THE LADIES HANGMAN

Ndebele Rock Steady Crew

2008-10-08T07:20:00.000-07:00

This one's alot! first video from the big boy Spoek, its a Playdoe ting and Sibot is lookin real happy in the video.

Sure as hell beats having to watch Waddy Jones prancing around in white booty shorts to the sounds of senile Eurocentric raw egg eating producers who cant afford their flights back to Sweden and are forced to live in OBS and SEAPOINT. Good reason to be happy Sibot, good reason.

dope video, amazing song.

Taste Me

2008-10-07T05:28:00.000-07:00

RICK JAMES- TASTE: DOWNLOAD IT HERE!

I think i found God when i heard this song, i was also really high on acid.
But this song, is just everything a song needs to be, crazy meldoy, crazy bass, its funky and the words strike the hearts of every dope fiend, crazy folk and party lovers alike. All we ever wanted was a taste of love.

First girl i meet thats a fan of Rick James and asks me to dance to this is going to get a sack over her head, a trip to the mountains and a fat ass rock on her finger.

Everybody wants to know about my style and where I'm from
Born a beast set out for feast at early age when I was young
Mary Jane...my claim to fame was all about me having fun
And smoking in the sun

Money in my pockets while the woman came and they'd go
Seven cars in my backyard cause that the way I loved to roll
Curse the day I started with play on something that would break my fall
Just getting high that's all...

Looking for a taste of love
Just a sweet taste of love
Just a taste of love...that could be so nice, be so nice

THE LADIES MANZILLA

The Message is Drugs

2008-10-04T14:01:00.001-07:00

merkin da girrrllll!!!
" come over here gal, i want to show you how a real man makes love to a woman."

nO ONE has got energy and hype like this except for spoek!

" please dont push me, i want nookie"

SHUUUUUT UUUPPPP!!

2008-10-04T12:59:00.000-07:00

SHUT UP!

CiRCLE DE GAL, CIRCLE DA GIRL!

the american guy is sooooo retaRDED!! does anyone see how funny this shit is??black wall street! circle da girl!!

Triiiiiippppppyyy

2008-10-04T12:18:00.001-07:00

"I WOULD EXPLAIN THE DEFINITION OF BALLING TO YOU WHITE FOLKS BUT THE GAME IS TO BE SOLD NOT TOLD!" mY lil Brother Tupac.

So this is a social experiment...i'm high as fuck right now on that sweet double dipped mauritian acid tab! got a bottle of montego red rum, two packs on dunhill lights and NO MATCHES OR LIGHTER!!!!! PAAAARRRRRR!!!!

fUCK KEN KESEY, FUCK HUNTER S., FUCK TOM WOLFE, FUCK ALAN LEARY, GET ME A BOX OF MATCHES YOU TWATS!!

aFTER the last few couple of blogs i've put up on here it seems, like whyat, i dint give a fuck igf im driunk. i mpau for this shit.

keep posted...right now Rick James, Damaged Goods and two rand airtime is the only bthing keeping me sane.,

thatsv rigfhgiys

Purple White Cups Of Joy

2008-10-02T02:48:00.000-07:00

Anyone got a connection for me? cant find any decent Codeine anywhere in Johannesburg. It would even better if someone was to hook me up with a pure Codeine connection. Come on people, lets hold hands and dissolve our stomachs together! The other day i drank Alcophyllex cough mixture... it has no Codeine in it and it tastes like Sea water with Worcester sauce in it if you mix it with Soda Water...but shit did fuck me up proper though.

Everyday i feel like i'm turning into what the Cape Tonians call a "bergie",but i'm just one of those dudes who like to forget about important meetings and kill my self while having fun. I'm a dumb shit, I'm inconsiderate,I'm spaced out, slushed out and I'm almost free. This has just been edited.

Sinutab pills with Codeine are still the only ones easily available.

PUSHER MAN SPACE FIEND

On an Island In The Sun

2008-10-02T02:15:00.000-07:00

Ive been working my socks off like Tinchy Stryder and i need a holiday like Jammer....

Cant wait for November, first stop Cape Town then i'm off to paradise. ANGOLA!
GIRLS, BURAKA, SANDY BEACHES AND MINE FIELDS. WHAT MORE COULD A LADIES MAN WANT?
ALREADY SENT AN E-MAIL OUT TO THE 2007 MISS UNIVERSE, MISS ANGOLA,MICAELA REIS she say's i can stay at her spot for a few days.(No Joke) Best working holiday ever, taking photos of her spread eagle. Cocktails in a mine field...lovely. Just waiting for Spoek to caome back from the UK then boom! Bitches in my pocket.

Blond dye and Sandals baby!

The Ladies Man

Zuma Gooding Snr

2008-09-29T06:02:00.000-07:00

I'm really hoping that they release a movie on Jacob Zuma's life...he already has an album for Umshiniwam coming out. fingers in the pie baby...dont get it wrong, i'm not a fan but if i was the casting agent for the Zuma Epic film, i'd choose Cuba Gooding Jr to play Zuma. Just get him to put on a little bit of weight and its all good. Maybe get Tyler Perry or Mel gibson to direct it.

BLACK AND WHITE CITY

2008-09-29T04:29:00.000-07:00

BLACK AND WHITE CITY

This is a blog me and my niggy Rob are working on, still in its rough stage but its going to get better once i'm on vacation and the Ladies man pulls out the bermuda shorts, leather sandals, peroxide and vaseline on the broads. First installment is a tale from Cape Town by Rob.

He's a plumpy Irish guy from the endz who feels entitled to be called black just because his best rhyme say's " i control the mic like a KFC drumstick".

Untill recentley Rob had never hooked up with a white girl before....he is a very serious guy when it comes to busting nuts and gentrification.

Its stories from Cape Town and Johannesburg...the citadels of contrasts.

And i know what some of you lil general knowledge loving twits are going to say i'm biting from the show Rob and Big Black...the one with Rob Dyrdek and his obese pig black body guard shaving his ass and what not....Me and my niggy Rob are the originals, and the difference between us the MTV cocksuckers is that the white man is riding on my coat tails!

NOT ME NIGGA! I'M NOT THE ONE GEECHIE.

High School High

2008-09-25T04:59:00.000-07:00

The worst and best years of my life...Public school life, uniforms..shorts in the summer....urrrghh..disgusting, but i still kept it gully though, i got detention cause my shorts and jersey were too baggy! Fuck you Mr.Bridger! and Fuck You principal Roy Gordon, we all know you beat your wife and feed chunks of dead black people to your alsatian dog, King. Bloemfontein...what a pit. kool in its own way though.

Thats me with the mini afro(no shit!)with the retarded bboy pose. The other dude is my homie Warren, right now he's in a coma after his crib caught got burnt down while he was still asleep inside. breathed in too much smoke..homies been in a coma since 2002/2003. Stay up holmes.

These pics were taken on a disposable camera by my friend Bryan...i think we were in the 8th or 9th grade...thats me on the left flipping the bird with a downs syndrome smile...the dude who has his pants off is Mark Dunn. Quite a character, his feet smelt like Rwanda and he used to jerk off in public places. His excuse was " ive got a big dick, why should i hide it?" sicko. I used to be the smut peddler in my hostel, he was my loyal customer, but he kept busting nuts on my magazines and thats when i had to close down the shop...plus the advent of DVD's was killing the porno mag trade.

Just laxing by the fields...this was probably during break time...the dark brother sitting on the chair is Johnny Danso, people used to call him tit head...and they also called him the zulu cowboy, even though he was half Xhosa and half Ghanaian. The other nigga who has his thumbs up next to Johnny is Eugene. The smartest nigga in the class( and yes, smarter than the whiteys too!)...he recently came out the closet and is rumored to be the head guy at an accounting firm some where. We just used to think he was just really organised and a neat freak...but nah, he's just a fag.Nigga wears lip gloss. His older brother is also gay...whoa! pop dukes must be buggin!

This was in the 11th grade at a dance or social at the sister school, St Michaels...i was so much better looking those days, thats me in the back row on your far left...i still didnt get any action that night probably....but i might have locked tongues with Natalie...i cant remeber...damn...Natalie.

Grade 12 leavers dinner...drank alot of cheap wine that night..RIP to my niggy Ryan Holmes, thats the second white guy on the right. Love you Fool!

I used to be a graffiti writer...tags were Sprinkllz,Kwame,Space,Rape,ink crew and some others ive forgotten...i sucked though. But i think i was one of the first bombers in Bloemfontein, this was round 1999-2000 when i started.

My niggy for life and roomate in the 12th grade, Clinton Foster. He's in Australia now..i got a lot of war stories with him, he introduced me to weed, ecstacy, Autumn Harvest and having no mercy on human beings. Clinton is one thugged out white boy...I'd love to say more but i dont want to get us arrested. The day this pic was taken was the day of booger sugar. Jesus. We used to go gold chain shopping!

2008..This is at Ryan's funeral.RIP. One of the guys in this picture is a rapist, can you guess who? i'm not saying any names.

BIG SPACE KING OF THE PROM

DJ BETTER PULL IT UP!

2008-09-23T02:43:00.000-07:00

Big,Big ,Big, Big shouts to the supreme lady of dubstep and everything else butter on the dancefloor, FUNAFUJI!! NOW THATS a DJ if youve never seen one before.

Been getting some responses from people who were out at Earth Dance who heard her play my dubplate(Stoopish) and also saturday at Fiction(Cape town). Thanks for the support, champagne and lobster is on my tab when i splash CPT in November.

Big ups to Fuji again, go check out her myspace and show some love you bitches! and look out for the Big Space FunaFuji special coming out soon.

SPACEVEIN

YOUNG BOHEMIANS

2008-09-23T02:12:00.000-07:00

Woop Woop! i dont get much press so you know how stoked (stoked enough to say stoked!) i am to see this, big shouts to the Young Bohemians...This is the first review done on Big Space (the SL mag thing dont count, that was a one song profile).

Cant even enjoy my victory properly cause i got so much school grinding to do! fuck the Wits university journalism department! SpaceVein said it!( Just Joking if i ever need to reference this or get a rasclaat job some where.

Read it here! Young Bohemians

Your Funky Breath

2008-09-21T23:23:00.000-07:00

My ears are definetly starting to redefine themselves. So last night i finally downloaded Marcus Nasty and DJ Mak 10's(the original N.A.S.T.Y CREW members and grime pioneers) 2 hour set on Rinse FM and its nothing short of huge.

The download took an hour and a half...never in my life would i have thought i would wait that long for something housey. But its not house, they call it "Funky"(I'm still trying to get past that name).

I've never really been a house fan, but the type of sound Marcus is throwng down is more grimier, ala Pretoria's Mujava.(www.myspace.com/mujava) Essentially it sounds like house but the bass lines and melodies are more inclined to a grime and garage sound whilst the drums are ghetto minimal at its finest. Like they said about our own Local hero Mujava(who just got ssigned to Warp) "minimaly raw yet strangely sophisticated". Its like house music from 1994 but futureristic.

" i dont know what to call this music but i just know its messy"- Mack 10 say's it best on the mix...it really is quite hard to define.

House fans, feel free to correct me or inform if anything i have just said is bullshit.

The Marcus Nasty and Mak 10 mix is for free download right here

things start to get really crazy after about 50.00mins...at 59:00mins its ultra mega, the pull up is insane.

www.myspace.com/marcusnasty