Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Meet Amy, also known as the Bathroom Secretary, but you peasants and lithe feathered phesants can call her CULT LEADER, or just Boss.
Amy is my favourite person of all the new people i've met this year, most people i've met this year now inspire me to devise ways of clubbing them to death with a sock full of 5 cent coins. What makes Amy so spesh and profesh is that she's the future queen of flavour or that thing they call "swagger", Amy is the French Hugenout renaissance woman and Rap Goddess of the universe and Stellenbosch. Amy has saved over 100000 people's live's with her inspirational guidance tapes called "Bitch, I'm back", and she also owns over 20000 mink coats.
Album soon come.
CULT LEADER, CULT LEADER AMY IS THE BOSS.
bIG BABY $PACE
Sunday, May 17, 2009
I know white people, i know them better than i know myself..and you know what i also know?They like me. In fact, white people love me. Nobody beleived me at first when i said i know white people, but hey..its true!
On Thursday at Dirty! Dirty! i realised that "wow, its that white yo!" like that real white. I'm talking about wicker garden chairs full of dog hairs, marmite sandwhiches,crocs, Toyota Prius's, divorce courts and cat lovers. I had a pocket full of Robert Downing Jnr and a freckled girl from Stellenbosch with a French surname telling me i'm cute and how she'd love to share pictures of my penis with her cousins in rehab and what not...i was like "i does this, its that white".
Lets also not forget about the broke white girl who said "can you pretty please buy me a drink?" Bramley is hood. Never in my life has a white person, let alone a white girl asked me to buy them a drink..Last year a plus sized jewish white girl asked to borrow R10 from me so she could get herself something to eat...that was quite epic i guess. And i guess it just blew eveything i said out the toilet bowl...Like i said, i know white people. Porcelain. Armitagge Shanks. Its a brand and it works.
I ALSO LIKE DOGS..AND I ONCE HAD A KITTEN. AND IF THIS IS WHAT FAME IS LIKE...LETS JUST SAY I HAVE VITALIGO THEN.
BIG UP ALL MY BLACK PEOPLE STILL BITCHING! WHATS REALLY GOOD! I HAVENT LEFT YOU....YET.