LETS PLAY!

Thursday, August 14, 2008

MTV BASE AFRICA AWARDS

Okay, so basically i went to another launch for people who dont know me or give a damn if i put a sample of Michael Johnson's blood into their punch...

MTV are now launching the first ever Base Music awards...this was the ceremony...whole bunch of people were there, usual suspects, Da LES, DJ Cleo(i think i saw them making out togerther) skwatta kamp, John Candy, Johhney Clegg blah,blah, etc, etc...

Lot of pretty girls in the crowd though...like i said before, i'm a girl watcher. But as usual, there was just as much weirdos and idiots around.

The two hardbody singers from Mozambique are fucking fantastic, the dark complexioned girl in the gold sings and the other girl in the hooded glitter sequence outfit is an amazing rapper...i really need to get a hold of the rappers name...i think i want to date her, or do a song with her,anything...i once saw her on Base, i cant remeber her name and i cant find it anywhere...somebody help me out please!












The following sets of buttocks look very good, but it would surprise you how far a good set of buns can take you...







And Alas, theyre grand mothers with junk in the OLD trunk of a fucked up truck. i really feel bad, i think i'm supposed to respect my elders.





WHAT THE FUCK ????
These are absolutely not good looks....




These girls over here bring a new meaning to boner.(Note to self, be less explicit, if these girls ever see this page they definetely will not have sex with you let alone accept you as friends on FaceBook, revise grammar and verbs. N.B)

The girl with the long hair and fabulous fun bags looks like someone in the girl group called RUSH, well, at least thats what i kept telling her, i insisted she was in the group and she just looked at me like i'm crazy in denial( i think she got kicked out the group)...still though, she likes it when i snap away at her...fuck,who doesnt?

The girl in the black hoodie is just....let the picture chat away.








STAY TUNED FOR SOME MORE PRETENTIOUS JOURNALISM AND UTTER BANAL ANAL EXCRETIONS OF A SORRY EXCUSE FOR A MOUTH.

BIG SPACE

Monday, August 11, 2008

Nike Should Start Paying Me....

I didnt know which to use for an introduction so i chose to use both.

1st Intro:
Nike Should start paying for all the money ive spent buying their expensive sweat shop labour clothes and their events i've covered in my not so coveted blogs.

2nd Intro:
Nike, Coca-Cola, Starbucks, Adidas, Microsoft, Sweat X. Like DJ Sbu, said “ I’m a brand monger, I make R100 000 a year and my voice sounds like a broken second hand vocoder.”

This past Friday was the Launch of the Nike Ari Max in South Africa, which is the only decent Nike sneaker out right now ever since the Japanese and dudes in Cape Town made dunks look like they’re strictly for the gay crowd and people who drink their own pee. The event went down at the old Carlton Centre Ice Rink, which I must say is quite a suave little venue, kind of reminds me of my apartment in Kosovo.

Sweat X headlined the event and alongside were some DJ’s I think were C-Live, Euphonik or DJ Monde, regardless of who they are, them boys had too many girls around them so I got jealous and I consciously decided not to cover them. Musicians need to share with the media, give me the groupies and I’ll make sure no one writes bad comments about you on Facebook. So okay Pussy Ole’s…lets DO IT!



Melville Nike Store Head Honcho, Sanele and Sweat X rapper Spoek Mathambo practicing their facial cadences for the night, watch carefully from here on how Spoek's face gradually transfroms into a smorgasboard of rap poses.


Sweat X get Dumb Nice!! their new set is well worth the long wait, their 187 E.P. looks promising and so does Spoek's future prospects of getting a decent barber. I think the new songs will attract more than "fashion designers and fags", Marcus Wormstorm's new beats remind me of canned peaches dipped inside Jack Daniels whiskey.

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SHOWER!!!

AND NOW FOR THE BEST PART...THE SERF MEETS THE PEASANT.

1.These girls are my new friends...Candice(The blonde one), all thats missing from her cute gaping mouth is my .........special curry made from a secret jasmine and masala sauce. lovely!
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2.I really wish i could remeber this girls name,and i know its not Ping, but it might be Rozzane...that guy was afraid to kiss her cause his date was actually Miss South Africa, Tansey Coetzee.

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3.Blow my whistle!!For real, i'm a girl watcher/washer, wash the girls go bye..bye,bye, bye...
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4. The Nike girl....she was working at the event, at first she started off cold and just straight up acting like she'd just took a shit after swallowing broken glass but as the night progressed and she started enjoying the free liquor her inner beauty and radiance came out in full force. you go girl!! Too bad she doesnt fuck peasants. thank god i'm not one!
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5.Elton John meets Brenda Fasie
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6. Kagiso Lediga
Funny story, when i was still living in Lesotho we had a gardener named Ntate Takalimani, he used to wrk in the mines and grew weed in my mothers garden...a few years later his leg was amputated. He looks exactley like Kagiso Lediga, like a drunken horse with a Moses beard.
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7.The guy on the left is a displaced(homeless bum) member of the gay community who is also a fashion designer who makes clothes out of used toilet paper. The guy on the right's name is Mumsy(i kid you not) and he is Dr. Mandla's brother( from the hit t.v soap Generations).he's lucky his nose doesnt look like a flattened mushroom.
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8. Coloured Folks...what more can i say? i dont want to get shanked. but i think the guy who doesnt have the fancy cut used to be in Ricky and Ricardo.
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9.That Drunk fellow who likes like Nasty Jack who is trying to molest Spoek was a bit of nuisance. The idiot pissed on my leg in the bathroom and i did the same right back to him...thats when he started claiming he was part of the rhyming allegiance of the ANC and saying he was rolling deep in the Eastern Cape...but of course he wasnt rolling deep. As you can see spoek really looks disturbed in that choke hold.
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10. Here's the dude from The Real Goboza...i'll teach them a thing or two about dirty gossip. Those grills are cadbury chocolate wrappers...
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11.Slush Puppy Kidz!!
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12. All in all, it was a good night...this picture say's it all.
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Big Shouts to Spoek Mathambo for being an original shotta!!!

Big Space

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

FAMOUS SATANISTS

If indeed we live in a democratic society and freedom of religion is on and popping then why do people show no love for satanists? no tolerance. intolerance is not on and popping. But little do ye peasants out there know that a lot of your idols are in fact satanists.

1. Nelson Mandela. Ever wondered why they really let Mandela out of prison? its partly because Oliver Thambo had turned him out in prison and stretched his asshole to the size of a squash ball but also because Madiba made a deal with the devil, that if he's released from Robben Island he would do Satan's work, which meant implementing democracy. The word democracy coming fromthe name demon. His prison number was 46664!666 in the middle! and these are the concersts that you go to people, its satans's party! so why are you fronting?


2. Frank Sinatra
Black jew my ass, this hot footed porch moneky be eating goats, not chicken feet.goats!! respect due though..see that shiny sleek conked mane of hair, a gift from Beelzebub after Sammy assasinated JF Kennedy. Holla!



3.Jamie Oliver
See that lisp of his, he spits in the food he cooks, but since its on camera it's alright innit?basil and his DNA. with a dollop of butter and cray fish..thats actually an old recipe for conjuring spirits of dead souls who died those weird deaths like choking on grapes. And have you seen his wife/ how does someone with a head similar to a saint bernard and teeth like Bizmarkie pull a girl like that? and once again, he talks like how Kool G Rap raps...Talk like lisp. Only satan could have laced him up with a gig like that. nice one! hands on the titty boi!


4. DJ Khalid
Dont need to say much for Mr. Khalid. Satan is de bessst!


P.S
N.B. FOR THE RECORD, BIG SPACE IS NOT A SATANIST, JUST A MERE SYMPATHISER AND AN OCCASIONAL LOVER OF SHOWERING IN RAT BLOOD.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

FORGET THE BATTY MAN MOVIE!

Okay, so i was hating on Batman before i saw it cause of that dead dude everyone is dick riding, what necrophiliacs. Anyhow, it wasnt that bad but it still doesnt compare to this joint!! Lights please!



I love Dancehall queen's, theyre the closest things to prostitutes that get my dick hard and i dont have to feel ashamed about it. Thank you Jamaica.





EGO TRIPPIN



Flash Toys



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Monday, August 4, 2008

Bape's and Their Divine Correlation with Nausea





Here's a profile i did of F-EEZY for levis music mag...i think i was too nice though...working for money has never been so hard.

[url]http://www.levis.co.za/musicmag/Category/Detail/Detail.aspx?ID=567"target="_blank"F-EEZY[/url]

Bloodclaat!

Big Space

FUCK BLOGGER, IM BACK INNIT

My last account, [url]www.spacevein.blogspot.com[/url] has been frozen for some terrible reason that is only known to the cretins that run these white man owned fancy tech systems. Give a brother a break, its hard enough that you got me out here and talking about my feelings and all types of other weird shit.

so heres the new one...vomit coming soon baby!

Big Space