LETS PLAY!

Monday, December 15, 2008

WET WET WET


Big Space shall be djing This Friday at gogo bar in Newtown, come through and get wet with a true war guy. 5 star general...expect some war tunes, dancehall, grime, house, hip-hop, and electro set..mish mash masepa man time.

Go Go Bar 47 Henry Nxumalo Street Newtown, Johannesburg....they have a special bar for White Russians too..the streets are filled with creamy vomit.

And please "let your deceny counteract your piggish mentality.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

SCARS, BARS AND PARRS

The ladies man has returned, its been a long time comming but i know that change is not gon come and it can suck my wrinkly dark black phallus. A change has come but its been a change for the worst, not that your beloved SpaceVain the Scarspace or Ladies man has changed but the rasclaats around him have changed. Some are even better off dead.Oh, and Fuck that Nigga Barack with his fake Sam Cooke ass trick father figure nigger shit, its MY TIME TO SHINE NOW.



The Dirtbag has been in Cape Town, the city of CHIPS AND BREAD crusts and mouth's with white crusts on the side from either sucking too much dick or sucking on a lightbulb AND HARDLY ANY BREAD CRUMBS. The views are great but the point of views are hate, "the haters are the male daters, real batty man behaviour" as my friend GodsFather would say.



The trip wasnt all that bad though...i was wyling out like nobody's business, and i got wasted everyday like a stray dog on the high way...right now i'm using dial-up internet so i cant upload the whole show..but stay tuned. The gist of the filth shall strike within the next few days.



PEOPLE, ITS GOOD TO BE BACK...AND TO EVERY BATTY BOY CREASE HOLE IN CAPE TOWN STILL TALKING SHIT BEHIND MY BACK EVEN THOUGH IVE BEEN GONE FOR SO LONG...SUCK YOUR MOM AND GREAT GRAND DAD. PUSSYHOLE.LIKE I SAID BEFORE, I ONLY TALK TO CHICKS.



Yours Truly

The Ladies Man

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Hate in your blood



Haters go Global!

Spoek Mathambo
, the man everyone likes but who you secretly hate because he's so kool he'd probably finger your sister while you watch...and you'd thank him for it.

Leave The Ndebele Monarch alone and let him make his vagina raps as he pleases. Heres an excert from Vice, The do's and dont section.

Some of the comments...that made me laugh.I'm not hating, Mokgata please dont get mad..but this shit is funny.

Anonymous, on Nov 4, 2008 wrote:
"Is that a lady with a man face or a man with a lady body?"

Anonymous, on Nov 3, 2008 wrote:
"Homo erectus found time to pose in his Boubou
and discounted URBAN sneaks after just crossing over to the states"


No wonder why Buju Banton said the east is the best. The western world is too cold.

Playdoe album launch in JHB is on 14 November, look out for it.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Hond Jaags




Maybe its the summer.

Im in love with Dama Do Bling, she's ghetto, she can rap and she has enormous foreign exotic features that a coloniser would enslave for. I dont know if i like her music or thighs better. I remeber when i saw her live for the first time id seen her on tv before but i didnt know her name. But now i know, heres to you baby! If you havent heard her music, just think Buraka meets Lil Kim in Portugal for a night of rum and cocaine, grey rats and alot of KY gel.






DirtZilla

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Random Life, Random Things

MY WORLDY POSSESSIONS WHICH ALL FIT INTO ONE BAG. A FEW OF MY CAPS.



THIS ONE IS OLD..BUT ITS STILL CUSTOM MADE.


MY SMELLY OLD SHOES.


MY DAILY SMELLY BREAD.


MY THUG KNUCKLES.


THE WHITE GIRL I GAVE HERPES TO. Her face is twisted because she just realised i burnt her, she couldnt even help but fan the burn away.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

STOP THE PRESS

Chairman of Policies of the Finance Department takes a fall. I like how he just ignores the crackling at first...tunnel vision.
video

Friday, October 17, 2008

The Viscera Continues....

Was on Gmail chat a few minutes ago talking to a pure bred hater. Hate flows in her veins like the codeine i steal from my grandmother. Apperently i'm falling off because i dont tell stories as much as i used to and expose myself to a world of shit.

Well here's a story that was deemed too crude and offensive to be published by a local newspaper. This also makes me cringe.




You Dirty Little Bugger!

By: The Ladies Man


When the river is flooded some men take the back roads, but then again some men live on the back roads, this back road is not on any road maps and it’s commonly thought to be taken mostly by porn stars and fans of Elton John. Welcome to the scary and shit ridden terrain of anal sex.

Comedian Sarah Silverman once joked: "I didn't lose my virginity until I was twenty-six. Nineteen vaginally, but twenty-six what my boyfriend calls 'the real way.”

Anal sex, which is also known as “going Greek” stemming from Roman age Greek poetry where anal sex became a common subject, which is represented as taking place with "eligible" youths: those who had attained the proper age but had not yet become adults.

Clearly the age of classics was also an age of shady artistic premises and ethics, but our contemporary time is no different and anal sex is moving away from being a taboo to a common sexual practice. Like the Miami rap outfit, 2-Live Crew once said “face down, ass up, that’s the way we like to fuck”.



It’s not all fun and games in the world of buggery though, if the proper precautions are not taken you could be in a world of crap.

According to Dr. Dale Davis who is a general practitioner in Sandton, “Anal sex exposes participants to two principal dangers: infections, due to the high number of infectious microorganisms not found elsewhere on the body, and physical damage to the anus and the rectum due to their vulnerability.”

It’s a high price for pleasure but as the Brooklyn based New York rapper Necro once said:

If I had Donald Trump's cash I'd have a plump ass
Everyday, sucking um and fucking um with no scumbags (condoms).


A very pretty 21 year old Interior Architect from Johannesburg who asked not to be named described anal sex in a visceral but culinary manner:

“Yeah, I tried it once with a guy I dated for over 3 year’s .Well it's like a hot knife cutting through bread. Not butter. You have to prepare your ass mentally. I suggest one be high on something to ease the pain. And it’s always good to start off very slowly and this will take the booty about 20 minutes (if not more) to be at ease with a penis inside. It’s a constipated feeling, like you got to go NOW! It's generally more pleasurable for the male.”

The greatest risk posed is the risk of contracting anal cancer and H.I.V .The incidence of anal cancer the disease has jumped 160% in men and 78% in women in the last thirty years, according to a 2004 cancer study by Fred Hutchinson.

According to Dr. Davis The risk of H.I.V is further increased because the high concentration of white blood cells around the rectum, together with the risk of cuts to the rectum and that one of the functions of the rectum is to absorb fluid, increases the risk of HIV transmission, “not using a condom under these circumstances is like suicide” added Dr. Davis.

GOOD MOURNING

"RAW IMMA GIVE IT TO YA, WERE LIKE COCAINE STARIGHT OUT OF BOLIVIA"



Had a rough one last nite....

"no matter how many times niggas keep getting burned, niggas never learn"-Bodie, The Wire

I drank a nip of First Watch whiskey by myself last night while making beats, i dont know why i drank it cause the last time i did it turned my insides into soup. i shat like a real man...for 6 days. I thought i had the new virus going around in South Africa thats spread by killer Zambian rats.

This morning while i was brushing my teeth i vomited on my hand and toothbrush. Rough.it just came out, i couldt help it. the choice of image above is the only way to explain how i felt and how i still feel. I cringe at myself these days.



The Ladies Barf Bag

Thursday, October 16, 2008

POPEYE MEAT



Hello dirt eaters and animals alike.

I've been so busy with writing my thesis that i havent had time to let you pet the goats in the child farm of my carnival mind. I'm grinding like Akon on a 6 year old girl grinding harder than a squirell on a Acorn.

I'm on the verge of suicide these days or picking up a drug like crystal meth.The only one thing that keeps me going right now is Meatwad. Aqua Teen Hunger Force, best fucking cartoon ever made since Archie and Jughead. I cant get enough of meatwad..the other day i tried squish up some mince into a ball and stick a smile and eyes on it with cardboard paper..but it just wasnt the same.

DONT YOU JUST WANT TO give MEATWAD A HUG? look at him..."I wanted a bunny rabbit, I was gonna name it Nathan... that's Latin for 'warm' by the way... Nathan Scott Phillips."-Meatwad


Check out this character description they give him wikipedia..more reason for you to watch.
A mostly peaceful, childishly simple-minded mass of compressed meat that was not approved for human consumption, Meatwad rolls and hops to get from one place to another, often picking up whatever dirt or debris happens to be in his way. He has also displayed shapeshifting abilities, and can morph into a hot dog, an igloo, a meat bridge, a "Samurai Lincoln" (intended to be Wayne Gretzky, or Richard Nixon as referred to in season 5), a walking spider-like form, a potted flower, a hand displaying the middle finger, a hammer, a three story office building and various other objects. Meatwad uses meaty appendages in order to manipulate objects.

He can regenerate quickly even from high levels of damage and conditions such as extreme heat, cold, voltage and pressure. He is often the victim of Shake's abuse and practical jokes, though he has periodically reciprocated this treatment, on one occasion convincing him to get plastic surgery from an auto mechanic. He sometimes is lost in his own fantasy world or sees himself as something better or different than what he truly is, such as how he claims that he has hair in one episode or that the Mooninites are his close friends.

He usually has a positive outlook on things, but when something frightens or offends him, he tends to openly start crying like a small child. Meatwad usually sleeps on a grill or brushed nickel colander, but occasionally sleeps on a bed of sand (which also serves as a food source for him). He is also known to make "dolls" out of household items, such as Dewey the paper towel roll, Vanessa the apple, Jeffy the garden hose, and Boxy Brown, a cardboard box


Carl...ASnother bugged out character.My favourite episode is where he gets a shrink ray gun and uses it in reverse to enlarge his penis, this also enlarges his crabs which wound up eating up his whole house and terrifyng the whole neighborhood.




DOWNLOAD THE SHOW HERE

More Meatwad quotes

"Oh, so you just decide that I'm drunk? You can't decide. I make that decision."

" I wanted a bunny rabbit, I was gonna name it Nathan... that's Latin for 'warm' by the way... Nathan Scott Phillips."

"I added food coloring because it's a holiday. But it turned black, because I added all the food coloring I had. Then I ate this butter straight out of the tub, because it tastes good. There's a reason behind everything."

"I find this, highly effiligent, in, edumacationists, for my brain. Because, I am smart boy."


THE LADIES LOVE A MAN WITH MEAT

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Weekend Lynching



So the poll reads that 25% of you are racist and that 75% of you only lynch and hate speech on the weekends.

And this is why i dont go out anymore. But thanks for the honesty, intolerant cocksuckers.

And whats up with white people smelling like dogs when their hair is wet?

why are Indian girls so hairy? why are their fathers so shady?





THE LADIES HANGMAN

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Ndebele Rock Steady Crew

This one's alot! first video from the big boy Spoek, its a Playdoe ting and Sibot is lookin real happy in the video.

Sure as hell beats having to watch Waddy Jones prancing around in white booty shorts to the sounds of senile Eurocentric raw egg eating producers who cant afford their flights back to Sweden and are forced to live in OBS and SEAPOINT. Good reason to be happy Sibot, good reason.

dope video, amazing song.





Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Taste Me





RICK JAMES- TASTE: DOWNLOAD IT HERE!

I think i found God when i heard this song, i was also really high on acid.
But this song, is just everything a song needs to be, crazy meldoy, crazy bass, its funky and the words strike the hearts of every dope fiend, crazy folk and party lovers alike. All we ever wanted was a taste of love.

First girl i meet thats a fan of Rick James and asks me to dance to this is going to get a sack over her head, a trip to the mountains and a fat ass rock on her finger.

Everybody wants to know about my style and where I'm from
Born a beast set out for feast at early age when I was young
Mary Jane...my claim to fame was all about me having fun
And smoking in the sun

Money in my pockets while the woman came and they'd go
Seven cars in my backyard cause that the way I loved to roll
Curse the day I started with play on something that would break my fall
Just getting high that's all...

Looking for a taste of love
Just a sweet taste of love
Just a taste of love...that could be so nice, be so nice




THE LADIES MANZILLA

Saturday, October 4, 2008

The Message is Drugs

merkin da girrrllll!!!
" come over here gal, i want to show you how a real man makes love to a woman."



nO ONE has got energy and hype like this except for spoek!

" please dont push me, i want nookie"

SHUUUUUT UUUPPPP!!

SHUT UP!




CiRCLE DE GAL, CIRCLE DA GIRL!

the american guy is sooooo retaRDED!! does anyone see how funny this shit is??black wall street! circle da girl!!

Triiiiiippppppyyy

"I WOULD EXPLAIN THE DEFINITION OF BALLING TO YOU WHITE FOLKS BUT THE GAME IS TO BE SOLD NOT TOLD!" mY lil Brother Tupac.

So this is a social experiment...i'm high as fuck right now on that sweet double dipped mauritian acid tab! got a bottle of montego red rum, two packs on dunhill lights and NO MATCHES OR LIGHTER!!!!! PAAAARRRRRR!!!!

fUCK KEN KESEY, FUCK HUNTER S., FUCK TOM WOLFE, FUCK ALAN LEARY, GET ME A BOX OF MATCHES YOU TWATS!!

aFTER the last few couple of blogs i've put up on here it seems, like whyat, i dint give a fuck igf im driunk. i mpau for this shit.

keep posted...right now Rick James, Damaged Goods and two rand airtime is the only bthing keeping me sane.,

thatsv rigfhgiys

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Purple White Cups Of Joy



Anyone got a connection for me? cant find any decent Codeine anywhere in Johannesburg. It would even better if someone was to hook me up with a pure Codeine connection. Come on people, lets hold hands and dissolve our stomachs together! The other day i drank Alcophyllex cough mixture... it has no Codeine in it and it tastes like Sea water with Worcester sauce in it if you mix it with Soda Water...but shit did fuck me up proper though.

Everyday i feel like i'm turning into what the Cape Tonians call a "bergie",but i'm just one of those dudes who like to forget about important meetings and kill my self while having fun. I'm a dumb shit, I'm inconsiderate,I'm spaced out, slushed out and I'm almost free. This has just been edited.

Sinutab pills with Codeine are still the only ones easily available.


PUSHER MAN SPACE FIEND

On an Island In The Sun

Ive been working my socks off like Tinchy Stryder and i need a holiday like Jammer....

Cant wait for November, first stop Cape Town then i'm off to paradise. ANGOLA!
GIRLS, BURAKA, SANDY BEACHES AND MINE FIELDS. WHAT MORE COULD A LADIES MAN WANT?
ALREADY SENT AN E-MAIL OUT TO THE 2007 MISS UNIVERSE, MISS ANGOLA,MICAELA REIS she say's i can stay at her spot for a few days.(No Joke) Best working holiday ever, taking photos of her spread eagle. Cocktails in a mine field...lovely. Just waiting for Spoek to caome back from the UK then boom! Bitches in my pocket.

Blond dye and Sandals baby!






The Ladies Man

Monday, September 29, 2008

Zuma Gooding Snr

I'm really hoping that they release a movie on Jacob Zuma's life...he already has an album for Umshiniwam coming out. fingers in the pie baby...dont get it wrong, i'm not a fan but if i was the casting agent for the Zuma Epic film, i'd choose Cuba Gooding Jr to play Zuma. Just get him to put on a little bit of weight and its all good. Maybe get Tyler Perry or Mel gibson to direct it.

BLACK AND WHITE CITY

BLACK AND WHITE CITY



This is a blog me and my niggy Rob are working on, still in its rough stage but its going to get better once i'm on vacation and the Ladies man pulls out the bermuda shorts, leather sandals, peroxide and vaseline on the broads. First installment is a tale from Cape Town by Rob.

He's a plumpy Irish guy from the endz who feels entitled to be called black just because his best rhyme say's " i control the mic like a KFC drumstick".

Untill recentley Rob had never hooked up with a white girl before....he is a very serious guy when it comes to busting nuts and gentrification.

Its stories from Cape Town and Johannesburg...the citadels of contrasts.

And i know what some of you lil general knowledge loving twits are going to say i'm biting from the show Rob and Big Black...the one with Rob Dyrdek and his obese pig black body guard shaving his ass and what not....Me and my niggy Rob are the originals, and the difference between us the MTV cocksuckers is that the white man is riding on my coat tails!


NOT ME NIGGA! I'M NOT THE ONE GEECHIE.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

High School High

The worst and best years of my life...Public school life, uniforms..shorts in the summer....urrrghh..disgusting, but i still kept it gully though, i got detention cause my shorts and jersey were too baggy! Fuck you Mr.Bridger! and Fuck You principal Roy Gordon, we all know you beat your wife and feed chunks of dead black people to your alsatian dog, King. Bloemfontein...what a pit. kool in its own way though.

Thats me with the mini afro(no shit!)with the retarded bboy pose. The other dude is my homie Warren, right now he's in a coma after his crib caught got burnt down while he was still asleep inside. breathed in too much smoke..homies been in a coma since 2002/2003. Stay up holmes.


These pics were taken on a disposable camera by my friend Bryan...i think we were in the 8th or 9th grade...thats me on the left flipping the bird with a downs syndrome smile...the dude who has his pants off is Mark Dunn. Quite a character, his feet smelt like Rwanda and he used to jerk off in public places. His excuse was " ive got a big dick, why should i hide it?" sicko. I used to be the smut peddler in my hostel, he was my loyal customer, but he kept busting nuts on my magazines and thats when i had to close down the shop...plus the advent of DVD's was killing the porno mag trade.



Just laxing by the fields...this was probably during break time...the dark brother sitting on the chair is Johnny Danso, people used to call him tit head...and they also called him the zulu cowboy, even though he was half Xhosa and half Ghanaian. The other nigga who has his thumbs up next to Johnny is Eugene. The smartest nigga in the class( and yes, smarter than the whiteys too!)...he recently came out the closet and is rumored to be the head guy at an accounting firm some where. We just used to think he was just really organised and a neat freak...but nah, he's just a fag.Nigga wears lip gloss. His older brother is also gay...whoa! pop dukes must be buggin!



This was in the 11th grade at a dance or social at the sister school, St Michaels...i was so much better looking those days, thats me in the back row on your far left...i still didnt get any action that night probably....but i might have locked tongues with Natalie...i cant remeber...damn...Natalie.


Grade 12 leavers dinner...drank alot of cheap wine that night..RIP to my niggy Ryan Holmes, thats the second white guy on the right. Love you Fool!


I used to be a graffiti writer...tags were Sprinkllz,Kwame,Space,Rape,ink crew and some others ive forgotten...i sucked though. But i think i was one of the first bombers in Bloemfontein, this was round 1999-2000 when i started.


My niggy for life and roomate in the 12th grade, Clinton Foster. He's in Australia now..i got a lot of war stories with him, he introduced me to weed, ecstacy, Autumn Harvest and having no mercy on human beings. Clinton is one thugged out white boy...I'd love to say more but i dont want to get us arrested. The day this pic was taken was the day of booger sugar. Jesus. We used to go gold chain shopping!


2008..This is at Ryan's funeral.RIP. One of the guys in this picture is a rapist, can you guess who? i'm not saying any names.


BIG SPACE KING OF THE PROM

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

DJ BETTER PULL IT UP!

Step Up - Fiction

Big,Big ,Big, Big shouts to the supreme lady of dubstep and everything else butter on the dancefloor, FUNAFUJI!! NOW THATS a DJ if youve never seen one before.

Been getting some responses from people who were out at Earth Dance who heard her play my dubplate(Stoopish) and also saturday at Fiction(Cape town). Thanks for the support, champagne and lobster is on my tab when i splash CPT in November.

Big ups to Fuji again, go check out her myspace and show some love you bitches! and look out for the Big Space FunaFuji special coming out soon.

SPACEVEIN

YOUNG BOHEMIANS


Woop Woop! i dont get much press so you know how stoked (stoked enough to say stoked!) i am to see this, big shouts to the Young Bohemians...This is the first review done on Big Space (the SL mag thing dont count, that was a one song profile).

Cant even enjoy my victory properly cause i got so much school grinding to do! fuck the Wits university journalism department! SpaceVein said it!( Just Joking if i ever need to reference this or get a rasclaat job some where.

Read it here! Young Bohemians

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Your Funky Breath

Old Skool

My ears are definetly starting to redefine themselves. So last night i finally downloaded Marcus Nasty and DJ Mak 10's(the original N.A.S.T.Y CREW members and grime pioneers) 2 hour set on Rinse FM and its nothing short of huge.

The download took an hour and a half...never in my life would i have thought i would wait that long for something housey. But its not house, they call it "Funky"(I'm still trying to get past that name).

I've never really been a house fan, but the type of sound Marcus is throwng down is more grimier, ala Pretoria's Mujava.(www.myspace.com/mujava) Essentially it sounds like house but the bass lines and melodies are more inclined to a grime and garage sound whilst the drums are ghetto minimal at its finest. Like they said about our own Local hero Mujava(who just got ssigned to Warp) "minimaly raw yet strangely sophisticated". Its like house music from 1994 but futureristic.

" i dont know what to call this music but i just know its messy"- Mack 10 say's it best on the mix...it really is quite hard to define.

House fans, feel free to correct me or inform if anything i have just said is bullshit.

The Marcus Nasty and Mak 10 mix is for free download right here

things start to get really crazy after about 50.00mins...at 59:00mins its ultra mega, the pull up is insane.


www.myspace.com/marcusnasty

Friday, September 19, 2008

Coming To America

Big shouts to my niggy Rob for these pics, this is definetely a good reason to move to America. I heard the rats there have Diners cards. Even cripples can get their gout on and jerk off whilst using mustard as lubrication. This shit is EPIC. Heaven dun, heaven.








AND IT GETS BETTER











AND WHATS BEST, ITS REAL...WWW.HEARTATTACKGRILL.COM

Geechie Space Gout.