LETS PLAY!

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Hond Jaags




Maybe its the summer.

Im in love with Dama Do Bling, she's ghetto, she can rap and she has enormous foreign exotic features that a coloniser would enslave for. I dont know if i like her music or thighs better. I remeber when i saw her live for the first time id seen her on tv before but i didnt know her name. But now i know, heres to you baby! If you havent heard her music, just think Buraka meets Lil Kim in Portugal for a night of rum and cocaine, grey rats and alot of KY gel.






DirtZilla

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Random Life, Random Things

MY WORLDY POSSESSIONS WHICH ALL FIT INTO ONE BAG. A FEW OF MY CAPS.



THIS ONE IS OLD..BUT ITS STILL CUSTOM MADE.


MY SMELLY OLD SHOES.


MY DAILY SMELLY BREAD.


MY THUG KNUCKLES.


THE WHITE GIRL I GAVE HERPES TO. Her face is twisted because she just realised i burnt her, she couldnt even help but fan the burn away.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

STOP THE PRESS

Chairman of Policies of the Finance Department takes a fall. I like how he just ignores the crackling at first...tunnel vision.
video

Friday, October 17, 2008

The Viscera Continues....

Was on Gmail chat a few minutes ago talking to a pure bred hater. Hate flows in her veins like the codeine i steal from my grandmother. Apperently i'm falling off because i dont tell stories as much as i used to and expose myself to a world of shit.

Well here's a story that was deemed too crude and offensive to be published by a local newspaper. This also makes me cringe.




You Dirty Little Bugger!

By: The Ladies Man


When the river is flooded some men take the back roads, but then again some men live on the back roads, this back road is not on any road maps and it’s commonly thought to be taken mostly by porn stars and fans of Elton John. Welcome to the scary and shit ridden terrain of anal sex.

Comedian Sarah Silverman once joked: "I didn't lose my virginity until I was twenty-six. Nineteen vaginally, but twenty-six what my boyfriend calls 'the real way.”

Anal sex, which is also known as “going Greek” stemming from Roman age Greek poetry where anal sex became a common subject, which is represented as taking place with "eligible" youths: those who had attained the proper age but had not yet become adults.

Clearly the age of classics was also an age of shady artistic premises and ethics, but our contemporary time is no different and anal sex is moving away from being a taboo to a common sexual practice. Like the Miami rap outfit, 2-Live Crew once said “face down, ass up, that’s the way we like to fuck”.



It’s not all fun and games in the world of buggery though, if the proper precautions are not taken you could be in a world of crap.

According to Dr. Dale Davis who is a general practitioner in Sandton, “Anal sex exposes participants to two principal dangers: infections, due to the high number of infectious microorganisms not found elsewhere on the body, and physical damage to the anus and the rectum due to their vulnerability.”

It’s a high price for pleasure but as the Brooklyn based New York rapper Necro once said:

If I had Donald Trump's cash I'd have a plump ass
Everyday, sucking um and fucking um with no scumbags (condoms).


A very pretty 21 year old Interior Architect from Johannesburg who asked not to be named described anal sex in a visceral but culinary manner:

“Yeah, I tried it once with a guy I dated for over 3 year’s .Well it's like a hot knife cutting through bread. Not butter. You have to prepare your ass mentally. I suggest one be high on something to ease the pain. And it’s always good to start off very slowly and this will take the booty about 20 minutes (if not more) to be at ease with a penis inside. It’s a constipated feeling, like you got to go NOW! It's generally more pleasurable for the male.”

The greatest risk posed is the risk of contracting anal cancer and H.I.V .The incidence of anal cancer the disease has jumped 160% in men and 78% in women in the last thirty years, according to a 2004 cancer study by Fred Hutchinson.

According to Dr. Davis The risk of H.I.V is further increased because the high concentration of white blood cells around the rectum, together with the risk of cuts to the rectum and that one of the functions of the rectum is to absorb fluid, increases the risk of HIV transmission, “not using a condom under these circumstances is like suicide” added Dr. Davis.

GOOD MOURNING

"RAW IMMA GIVE IT TO YA, WERE LIKE COCAINE STARIGHT OUT OF BOLIVIA"



Had a rough one last nite....

"no matter how many times niggas keep getting burned, niggas never learn"-Bodie, The Wire

I drank a nip of First Watch whiskey by myself last night while making beats, i dont know why i drank it cause the last time i did it turned my insides into soup. i shat like a real man...for 6 days. I thought i had the new virus going around in South Africa thats spread by killer Zambian rats.

This morning while i was brushing my teeth i vomited on my hand and toothbrush. Rough.it just came out, i couldt help it. the choice of image above is the only way to explain how i felt and how i still feel. I cringe at myself these days.



The Ladies Barf Bag

Thursday, October 16, 2008

POPEYE MEAT



Hello dirt eaters and animals alike.

I've been so busy with writing my thesis that i havent had time to let you pet the goats in the child farm of my carnival mind. I'm grinding like Akon on a 6 year old girl grinding harder than a squirell on a Acorn.

I'm on the verge of suicide these days or picking up a drug like crystal meth.The only one thing that keeps me going right now is Meatwad. Aqua Teen Hunger Force, best fucking cartoon ever made since Archie and Jughead. I cant get enough of meatwad..the other day i tried squish up some mince into a ball and stick a smile and eyes on it with cardboard paper..but it just wasnt the same.

DONT YOU JUST WANT TO give MEATWAD A HUG? look at him..."I wanted a bunny rabbit, I was gonna name it Nathan... that's Latin for 'warm' by the way... Nathan Scott Phillips."-Meatwad


Check out this character description they give him wikipedia..more reason for you to watch.
A mostly peaceful, childishly simple-minded mass of compressed meat that was not approved for human consumption, Meatwad rolls and hops to get from one place to another, often picking up whatever dirt or debris happens to be in his way. He has also displayed shapeshifting abilities, and can morph into a hot dog, an igloo, a meat bridge, a "Samurai Lincoln" (intended to be Wayne Gretzky, or Richard Nixon as referred to in season 5), a walking spider-like form, a potted flower, a hand displaying the middle finger, a hammer, a three story office building and various other objects. Meatwad uses meaty appendages in order to manipulate objects.

He can regenerate quickly even from high levels of damage and conditions such as extreme heat, cold, voltage and pressure. He is often the victim of Shake's abuse and practical jokes, though he has periodically reciprocated this treatment, on one occasion convincing him to get plastic surgery from an auto mechanic. He sometimes is lost in his own fantasy world or sees himself as something better or different than what he truly is, such as how he claims that he has hair in one episode or that the Mooninites are his close friends.

He usually has a positive outlook on things, but when something frightens or offends him, he tends to openly start crying like a small child. Meatwad usually sleeps on a grill or brushed nickel colander, but occasionally sleeps on a bed of sand (which also serves as a food source for him). He is also known to make "dolls" out of household items, such as Dewey the paper towel roll, Vanessa the apple, Jeffy the garden hose, and Boxy Brown, a cardboard box


Carl...ASnother bugged out character.My favourite episode is where he gets a shrink ray gun and uses it in reverse to enlarge his penis, this also enlarges his crabs which wound up eating up his whole house and terrifyng the whole neighborhood.




DOWNLOAD THE SHOW HERE

More Meatwad quotes

"Oh, so you just decide that I'm drunk? You can't decide. I make that decision."

" I wanted a bunny rabbit, I was gonna name it Nathan... that's Latin for 'warm' by the way... Nathan Scott Phillips."

"I added food coloring because it's a holiday. But it turned black, because I added all the food coloring I had. Then I ate this butter straight out of the tub, because it tastes good. There's a reason behind everything."

"I find this, highly effiligent, in, edumacationists, for my brain. Because, I am smart boy."


THE LADIES LOVE A MAN WITH MEAT

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Weekend Lynching



So the poll reads that 25% of you are racist and that 75% of you only lynch and hate speech on the weekends.

And this is why i dont go out anymore. But thanks for the honesty, intolerant cocksuckers.

And whats up with white people smelling like dogs when their hair is wet?

why are Indian girls so hairy? why are their fathers so shady?





THE LADIES HANGMAN

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Ndebele Rock Steady Crew

This one's alot! first video from the big boy Spoek, its a Playdoe ting and Sibot is lookin real happy in the video.

Sure as hell beats having to watch Waddy Jones prancing around in white booty shorts to the sounds of senile Eurocentric raw egg eating producers who cant afford their flights back to Sweden and are forced to live in OBS and SEAPOINT. Good reason to be happy Sibot, good reason.

dope video, amazing song.





Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Taste Me





RICK JAMES- TASTE: DOWNLOAD IT HERE!

I think i found God when i heard this song, i was also really high on acid.
But this song, is just everything a song needs to be, crazy meldoy, crazy bass, its funky and the words strike the hearts of every dope fiend, crazy folk and party lovers alike. All we ever wanted was a taste of love.

First girl i meet thats a fan of Rick James and asks me to dance to this is going to get a sack over her head, a trip to the mountains and a fat ass rock on her finger.

Everybody wants to know about my style and where I'm from
Born a beast set out for feast at early age when I was young
Mary Jane...my claim to fame was all about me having fun
And smoking in the sun

Money in my pockets while the woman came and they'd go
Seven cars in my backyard cause that the way I loved to roll
Curse the day I started with play on something that would break my fall
Just getting high that's all...

Looking for a taste of love
Just a sweet taste of love
Just a taste of love...that could be so nice, be so nice




THE LADIES MANZILLA

Saturday, October 4, 2008

The Message is Drugs

merkin da girrrllll!!!
" come over here gal, i want to show you how a real man makes love to a woman."



nO ONE has got energy and hype like this except for spoek!

" please dont push me, i want nookie"

SHUUUUUT UUUPPPP!!

SHUT UP!




CiRCLE DE GAL, CIRCLE DA GIRL!

the american guy is sooooo retaRDED!! does anyone see how funny this shit is??black wall street! circle da girl!!

Triiiiiippppppyyy

"I WOULD EXPLAIN THE DEFINITION OF BALLING TO YOU WHITE FOLKS BUT THE GAME IS TO BE SOLD NOT TOLD!" mY lil Brother Tupac.

So this is a social experiment...i'm high as fuck right now on that sweet double dipped mauritian acid tab! got a bottle of montego red rum, two packs on dunhill lights and NO MATCHES OR LIGHTER!!!!! PAAAARRRRRR!!!!

fUCK KEN KESEY, FUCK HUNTER S., FUCK TOM WOLFE, FUCK ALAN LEARY, GET ME A BOX OF MATCHES YOU TWATS!!

aFTER the last few couple of blogs i've put up on here it seems, like whyat, i dint give a fuck igf im driunk. i mpau for this shit.

keep posted...right now Rick James, Damaged Goods and two rand airtime is the only bthing keeping me sane.,

thatsv rigfhgiys

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Purple White Cups Of Joy



Anyone got a connection for me? cant find any decent Codeine anywhere in Johannesburg. It would even better if someone was to hook me up with a pure Codeine connection. Come on people, lets hold hands and dissolve our stomachs together! The other day i drank Alcophyllex cough mixture... it has no Codeine in it and it tastes like Sea water with Worcester sauce in it if you mix it with Soda Water...but shit did fuck me up proper though.

Everyday i feel like i'm turning into what the Cape Tonians call a "bergie",but i'm just one of those dudes who like to forget about important meetings and kill my self while having fun. I'm a dumb shit, I'm inconsiderate,I'm spaced out, slushed out and I'm almost free. This has just been edited.

Sinutab pills with Codeine are still the only ones easily available.


PUSHER MAN SPACE FIEND

On an Island In The Sun

Ive been working my socks off like Tinchy Stryder and i need a holiday like Jammer....

Cant wait for November, first stop Cape Town then i'm off to paradise. ANGOLA!
GIRLS, BURAKA, SANDY BEACHES AND MINE FIELDS. WHAT MORE COULD A LADIES MAN WANT?
ALREADY SENT AN E-MAIL OUT TO THE 2007 MISS UNIVERSE, MISS ANGOLA,MICAELA REIS she say's i can stay at her spot for a few days.(No Joke) Best working holiday ever, taking photos of her spread eagle. Cocktails in a mine field...lovely. Just waiting for Spoek to caome back from the UK then boom! Bitches in my pocket.

Blond dye and Sandals baby!






The Ladies Man