FASHIONIGGER

You Dun know! who would have thought that your humble old ugly but fuckable narrator would ever be a model? Well it seems that some people with warped senses of humour or a fetish for absurdly huge ingrown hairs thinks im a sexy little animal.

Heres a photoshoot i just did for the Jeremy Scott Adidas Range for the Team Uncool blog

Photos are by Chris Saunders

PUT YOUR DRINK DOWN NEVER

Celebration time, its a picture celebration. This is to celebrate my tune, 'Put your drink down' getting over 100000000000 downloads so far, i'm kind of like Garth Brooks of the underground internet game. So to celebrate this joyous occasion, ive put together a series of pictures of me(obviouslly) celebrating the one thing that i will NEVER do which is to PUT MY DRINK DOWN.This is for two reasons, 1. I dont want roofies, 2. I'm an alcoholic. So do enjoy and laugh at my expense, but please look at how ive progressed, first i was like all....errrr dont know how to describe it, but the best word for it would be my favourite all time word...DISCOMBOBULATED.

This is me and my brother Mvels.a.k.a Boats, Planes and BOATS


Me and Kayrab on News Years eve 2007, im looking pretty crusty i must say.

Me and Lungi (RIP) at our honours class journalism awards, we both won nothing. I love you though.


still havent drank this yet..

Been hitting the bottle since highschool..thats me with the afro and spectacles.

Anthea,Kayrab and myself on her 21st Bday. I vomitted twice that night!

SIBI LOVES MORE THAN ALCOHOL

Me and Roseanne the fashion designer,photo by Chris Saunders

Slush Puppy Kids

Maphuti, aka Phuti

CLAIRE!!!!

WIFEY!!!!


Team Uncool party with Murray

OVER THE TOP NIGGER CIRCA 2002


WIFEY


ALCOHOL ROCKS, LIKE PUFFY SAID, CANT STOP, WONT STOP, DO YOU HAVE ANY WEED?

SEXY TINGS A GWAN ! !

Here are some big boy tunes which i cant get enough off for the past couple of months or so. The summer over here is going to be ridiculous. These arent new tunes but theyre still good enough to play when making out with your old lady or mother if the latter is your thing. The daisy dukes are already out and the bubble dresses are popping and its all very nice isnt it? Indeed it is.

Nutty Nys- Nka Mo Dira..This is going to be massive, it just came out. The pedi poetry is too beautiful for my ears, the choir, the video. super.super.


Phumeza -Indoda Yakho...Im loving the coloured vocalist, the dances, the durban house stylee, the beach, its too much blood, its too much!


ENUR- Calabria 2007..Rest in Peace Enur, so pretty..had to die so young, this one is a classic. "whoop whoop!"


Tiga- Shoes...Hands down one of the best music videos ive ever seen, the song is also fucking monster.


Pitbull- Ay Chico...Pitbull is my role model. He is also my style icon and all round musical genious.

TODAY WAS A GOOD DAY

Had one of those super day's that reminded me that life can be pretty fucking dope if you forget about all the people who try to drown you in their pools of pity, insecurity, lies and all kinds of other malarchy and bad mind tings.

Today me and the Wife went on a colossul shopping and kissing spree in the hot city, i got a Pierre Cardin suit and sky blue Yetting plim sole shoes and a couple of t-shirts, then i almost cried when the wife bought me a Yves Saint Laurent shirt to match my Pierre Cardin. I love that girl.





Then we finished the day off at Chuckleberry's Burgers in Rivonia, where she had the Californian gourmet burger with guacamole, cheese, onions and bacon and a coke and i had the Jamaican burger, which has pineapple and bacon with a coke and a windhoek lager.


Were the best team since fucking Mobb Deep...but i hope havoc and prodigy dont make make out and go on shopping sprees..that would suck.(no pun, no homo).

A LITTLE UNKNOWN FACT.. ITS ABIT EMBARASSING BUT WHAT THE FUCK..ME AND THE WIFE LOVE DMX..PEEP THIS CLASSIC."SINCE YOU GAVE ME THE PUSSY THAT ASS IS GETTING FATTER"

MORE HATE MORE LOVE

INSPECTOR MOOROSI IS AT IT AGAIN ON THIS ONE, TOXIC AVENGER REVIEW FOR MAHALA.CO.ZA READ IT HERE..

ITS HERE!ISLUSH PUPPY KIDS E.P OUT NOW

BEEN WAITING FOR THIS DAY THE WHOLE YEAR, IT TOOK ALOT OF BLOOD,SWEAT, TEARS, PISS, WEED, SHIT AND SALIVA TO MAKE THIS EP POP, AND NOW IT WILL BE AVAILABLE ON 28 august FRIDAY!!!YAAAAYYYY...

SO HERE IS THE TEASER MIX FOR THE ALBUM, WHICH IS SO GOOD IT MAKES ME WANT TO SLAP MY OWN MOTHER, AND LET ME TAKE THIS TIME TO GIVE ANOTHER THANK YOU AND SHOUT OUT TO SCHLATHOFBRONX AND EVERYONE AT DISKO B RECORDS WHO MADE THIS SHIT POP OF!!LOVE YOU...AND OF COURSE A SPECIAL SHOUT OUT AND A HUG FOR MY BROTHER SPOEK FOR ALL THE TIME AND PATIENCE.

download the mix here

>

check the epk over herrrreee

AND YOU CAN BUY THE ALBUM FROM THE FOLLOWING FINE AND DANDY SEXY ALBUMS[JUST COPY THE LINK INTO YOUR BROWSER]

https://www.beatport.com/de-DE/html/content/track/catalog/?performerId=114238&contextType=artists&contextEntityId=114238&orderBy=trackPublishDate%20DESC%2C%20releaseId%20DESC
http://www.junodownload.com/artists/Schlachthofbronx/releases/
http://www.zero-inch.com/artist/Schlachthofbronx/album/Schlachthofbronx/106228
http://www.apple.com/search/ipoditunes/?q=schlachthofbronx
http://www.boomkat.com/item.cfm?id=221496
http://www.soulseduction.com/common/item_detail.php?ItemCode=B309439
http://peoplesmusicstore.com/catalogue_items/497163
http://www.nuloop.com/en/mp3/detail/18690/schlachthofbronx_schlachthofbronx.html

MY GIRLFRIEND IS BETTER THAN YOURS

10 REASONS WHY MY GIRLFRIEND IS WAAAY BETTER THAN YOURS, WATCH:

1.SHE'S A WET BACK LIKE ME.

2.SHE DRESSES TO THE NINES JUST TO HANG OUT AT MY HOUSE OR WHEN WE GO TO THE PARK.

3.SHE HAS A WET NOSE.

4.SHE CAN DRAW AND COOK.

5.SHE LAUGHS AT 90% OF MY JOKES,(EXCEPT MANDELA AND OBAMA JOKES)

6.SHE SPEAKS ZULU(WHICH ELIMINATES THE CHANCES OF ME GETTING HARASSED BY CAR GUARDS)

7.SHE GIVES ME ALOE,POMEGRANITE AND DEVILS CLAW JUICE WHEN IM HUNGOVER.

8.SHE ALWAYS SAYS SHE LOVES ME BEFORE SHE CALLS ME A CUNT FACE.

9.SHE DOES A GREAT IMPERSONATION OF A DOG DRINKING FROM A BOWL.

10.SHE HAS LARGE MAMMARY GLANDS(TITS).

HONOURABLE MENTION: SHE LOVES DOGS.

LOVE YOU CUNT FACE, MY AFRICAN NUBIAN BLOOD DIAMOND HEAD QUEEN.



IM IN HEAVEN, WITH MY GIRLFRIEND, MY LOVELY GIRLFRIEND.

MAHOW! MAHOW!

My friend Neil Mayer spends waaay too much time on the internet, but i love him for it cause he discovers jams like this. Nelson De La Rosa...i love small people because i'm a midget too, but when theyre Dominican and brilliant dancers it almost makes me want to cry or commit a rape. RIP Nelson De La Rosa..

This song is banging...so is the Michael Jackson routine.

JUST ANOTHER KID THROWING UP

Another one from www.Mahala.co.za, Inspector Moorosi was checking out the good ol boys from Mtikidu's album launch and art exhibition. Read it here

And big up Mtikidu for the warm and cordial launch. Shout out to Murray's pitbull 'geezer'.

SHIT KICKER, FIRE IN A THEATER

I keep the white man shook. Little review i did, oh, your boy Big Space also dj'd there. Read the story HERE

FROM BAVARIA WITH LOVE

Just got Another super special from the Schakkerhart boys, nice one for the dj's. Enjoy folks. Dont you guys want to fly me down to Germany and put some Deustch marks in my pockets? a beer at least?

GET IT HERE

Schakkerhart.com pres. Major Lazer - Gun's Don't Kill People... Lazer Do - The Remixes


1. Major Lazer ft. Santigold & Mr. Lexx - Hold The Line (Fr33m4n Bootleg)
2. Major Lazer ft. Santigold and Mr. Lexx - Hold The Line (Toadally Krossed Out Remix)
3. Major Lazer ft. Santigold and Mr. Lexx - Hold The Line (Edu K Rmx)
4. Major Lazer ft. Santigold & Mr. Lexx - Hold The Line (Skratch Bastid Wipe Out Riddim Refix)
5. Major Lazer ft. Santigold & Mr. Lexx - Major Lazer ft. Santigold and Mr. Lexx - Hold The Line (Robot Koch Remix)
6. Major Lazer - Hold The Line (Feat. Santigold & Mr. Lexx) (Poirier remix)
7. Major Lazer - Hold The Line (Niggaz On Crack Trompeta Remix)
8. Major Lazer - Hold The Line (Tommie Sunshine, Il Diablo & Mixin' Marc Remix)
9. Major Lazer ft. Santigold and Mr. Lexx - Hold The Line (Audio Dakoos 'Lazers On Stun' Remix)
10. Major Lazer - Hold The Line (Golden Gloves Wobble n Shake Remix)
11. Major Lazer - Bay Of Figs
12. Major Lazer ft. Santigold & Mr. Lexx - Pon de floor How i LIke it (BeatauCue remix)
13. Major Lazer ft. Santigold & Mr. Lexx - Major Lazer ft Mr. Lexx and Santigold "Hold the Line" (Emynd's "Turn My Swag On" Blend)
14. Major Lazer ft. Santigold & Mr. Lexx - Major Lazer ft Mr. Lexx and Santigold "Hold the Line" (Emynd's "I'm Illy" Blend)
15. Major Lazer ft. Santigold & Mr. Lexx - Major Lazer "Zumbie" ft. Andy Milonakis
16. Major Lazer ft. Santigold & Mr. Lexx - Hold The Line (Danny Scrilla Dubstep Remix)
17. Major Lazer ft. Santigold & Mr. Lexx - Hold The Line (The Not Sures Remix)
18. Major Lazer ft. Santigold & Mr. Lexx - Hold The Line (Johnny Roxx Remix)
19. Major Lazer ft. Santigold & Mr. Lexx - Baby (Figure Remix)
20. Major Lazer ft. Santigold & Mr. Lexx - Hold The Line (Skream Remix)
21. Major Lazer - Lazer Boom 1
22. Major Lazer - Major Lazer - Hold The Line Omri Anghel Remix MS
23. Major Lazer - Hold The Line 2 (Ming Remix)
24. Major Lazer ft. Santigold & Mr. Lexx - Hold the Line (SKASEII Remix)
25. Major Lazer - Hold the Line - NROTB Remix
26. Major Lazer ft. Santigold & Mr. Lexx - Hold The Line (Djedjotronic Mix)
27. Major Lazer ft. Santigold & Mr. Lexx -Hold The Line Antennae Remix
28. Major Lazer - Hold the Line ft. Santigold and Mr. Lexx (Nacey Remix)
29. Major Lazer ft. Santigold & Mr. Lexx - Hold The Line (DZ RMX)
30. Major Lazer ft. Santigold & Mr. Lexx - Hold The Line ft. Santigold & Mr. Lexx (Futures Remix)
31. Major Lazer feat Baby Cham - Call Mi (Dave Kelly's Hold The Line Remix)
32. Major Lazer ft. Santigold & Mr. Lexx - Pon De Floor ft. Vybz Kartel (Ernold Sane Remix)
33. Major Lazer ft. Santigold & Mr. Lexx - Jump Up ft. Supahype (Sticky K Remix)
34. Major Lazer - Hold The Line (Coin Operated Boy Remix)
35. Major Lazer ft. Santigold & Mr. Lexx - Hold The Line (black lights remix)
36. Major Lazer ft. Santigold & Mr. Lexx - Major Lazer Hold The Line (Unsexxy's Calorón Forever Remixx)
37. Major Lazer - Hold The Line (Tommie Sunshine Reggacid Mix)
38. Major Lazer ft. Santigold & Mr. Lexx - Hold the Line (LehtMoJoe Remix)
39. Major Lazer ft. Santigold & Mr. Lexx - Mr. Lexx and Santogold - Hold the line (Mega Velocity Remix)
40. Major Lazer ft. Santigold & Mr. Lexx - Major Lazer ft. Santigold and Mr. Lexx - Hold The Line (Kozee Remix)
41. Major Lazer - Hold The Line-Sabbo Remix
42. Major Lazer ft. Santigold & Mr. Lexx - Hold The Line (Shakeyface's Ragga Massive Remix)
43. Major Lazer - Hold The Line (DJ C Remix)
44. Major Lazer ft. Santigold & Mr. Lexx - Major Lazer at The Levi's®/FADER Fort
45. Major Lazer ft. Santigold & Mr. Lexx - Major Lazer - Hold The Line (Beatstreet Static Age Serato Edit)
46. Major Lazer ft. Santigold & Mr. Lexx - Major Lazer ft Mr. Lexx and Santigold "Hold the Line" (Emynd's "Hard Drop Riddim" Blend)
47. Major Lazer ft. Santigold & Mr. Lexx - Hold The Line (Tommie Sunshine & Mixin Marc remix)
48. Major Lazer - Hold The Line (DVW Remix)
49. Major Lazer ft. Santigold & Mr. Lexx - Hold The Line (Remix)
50. Major Lazer ft. Santigold & Mr. Lexx - Major Lazer ft Mr. Lexx and Santigold "Hold the Line" (Emynd's "Ain't I" Blend)
51. Major Lazer ft. Santigold & Mr. Lexx - Hold The Line (Sparkletone Remix)
52. Major Lazer ft. Santigold and Mr. Lexx - Hold The Line (Perfect Loosers Remix)
53. Major Lazer ft. Santigold and Mr. Lexx - Hold The Line (Primus Luta's How U Do It Remix)
54. Major Lazer ft. Santigold and Mr. Lexx - Pull Up The Line (Twist It! Goes Baile Funk Mashup
55. Major Lazer ft. Santigold and Mr. Lexx - Hold The Line (Bootyslapperz Mix)
56. Major Lazer ft. Santigold and Mr. Lexx - Hold The Line (Kid Queasy Remix)
57. Major Lazer ft. Santigold and Mr. Lexx - Hold The Line (Marvel Kutcorners Remix)
58. Major Lazer ft. Santigold and Mr. Lexx - Hold The Line (Prince Zimbo Freestyle)
59. Major Lazer ft. Santigold and Mr. Lexx - Hold The Line (Short Stories Remix)
60. Major Lazer ft. Santigold and Mr. Lexx - Hold The Line (Trekk Dub)
61 Major Lazer - Keep It Goin Louder ft Nina Sky (Diplo Remix)

HIVIP: UNITED STATES OF AYOBANESS

PURE BEAUTY



TRACKLIST
FEVER - SPOEK & SO CALLED FRIEND (HOSTAGE REMIX)
BONGO JAM - CRAZY COUZINZ (BOKBOK & L-VIS1990 REFIX)
AKUSE - ALCAPOEM
ALMIGHTY FATHER - SUNSHIP FT WARRIOR QUEEN (SOLID GROOVE REMIX)
WONTON GARDEN - MATT SHADETEK
DEM NAH LIKE IT - SPOEK MATHAMBO & JAHDAN BLACKAMORE & 77KLASH
BULLETPROOF - LA ROUX (FOAMO REMIX)
WARDANCE - FOAMO
DANCE, DANCE, DANCE - LYKI LI (BURAKA SOM SISTEMA)
BITCH MADE - KASI HOUSE MAFIAS
DREAMS - DJ WHAT WHAT
I'MA TELL YOUR MAMA ON YOU - RED THE HOMELESS GFUNK BEATBOX

PIGGISH MENTALITY

Ive been quite a glutton for everything these day's, pretty fucking disgusting but it feels pretty fucking good. It feels good to Feel good.

PLAYING WITH PENS (RE-UPS TO PARTY UP'S)

Woop woop motherfuckers, catch me this Friday playing at a Art exhibition for my nigga nolan and Fuzzy slippers. Fancy Magazines, original art, limited edition shit everywhere for sale, black art school girls who will suck your dick if you say you once met Damien Hirst, sushi, finger foods, Big Space,love, energy and lust. perfect for this satanic winter.

I Havent been to Melville since my Chevy got violated by some in-breds, so let this be a word of advice to all the real niggas and playas who are attending this wonderfull event in that trecherous neighborhood...Dont park your coups on 4th avenue.Cant do it playa, you cant!

Check the FaceBook group

Host: mafuta ink
Type: Music/Arts - Exhibit
Network: Global
Date: Friday, July 24, 2009
Time: 6:00pm - 11:00pm
Location: Mafuta Ink Pop Up - Shop 4c, 7th str. Melville
Street: 7th Street, Melville

Email: nolan.o.dennis@gmail.com

BLOOD, SWEAT, TEARS, SHIT, PISS AND SALIVA

"yo, yo ,yo yo, motse wa ka wa thubela"- Caiphus Semenya

Its been one of those typical Big Space weeks...drama,drama,drama. Lights camera's and over the top action, Dolph Lungren slap boxing with Bruce Willis in a pool of sharks while Cynthia Rothrock watches with night vision goggles while riding Dwayne Johanson (The Rock) in reverse cowboy position to the sounds of Vangelis. It all ends with Charles Bronson getting a bionic arm which can interpret Hebrew and also has an espresso machine and a 357 magnum, the bionic arm is then used to kill Clint Eastwoods family while they were watching "Two and a half men".

The world is a new place for me, i feel like i was born yesterday, which explains my young sexy looks, but it sure is a mental cock block. Lesson for the day, dont play with them, play them, because fancy toys always break.

Listen to some Caipuhs, this is music for niggas who arent ashamed to cry but still get some pussy here and there if its in Gods will.

GERMAN NICHE SUPERSTAR

Ive got alot of people in Germany playing on the space team, which feels uber great because no one out here seems to give too much of a shit. I fucking love Germans and Bavarian's and their little green shorts and suspenders. They make good shit like Porsche's, Paulaner Beer, faeces fetish porn and 99 red balloons. The boys from SCHAKKERHART HAVE JUST SENT ME THIS LITTLE FUNKY SERVING OF A MIX. ITS PRETTY WET WET WET.

GET IT HERE

BUCK FIFTY

Right now i'm smiling so hard it looks like I've just stepped out of Rikers Island with a fresh and bleeding buck fifty. Ear to Ear. The "Put your Drink Down" Remix has made it onto Fader, the hub of all cool Europeans in skinny jeans who like to see black sweat. Big up Julianne Escobedo Shepherd for helping me get one step closer to finally getting a chance at sleeping with a white woman with very rich parents.

READ ALL ABOUT ME HERE LADIES.... THE FADER

ART GIRLS LOVE OSKIDO

I cant get enough of this video, bare laughter in Gallo Manor right now. The dude in Ninjasonik has the best dance moves ive ever seen in a long time BUT theyre second best to Oscar's drunken uncle at a wedding dance, the uncle who always tries to kiss you with a mouthfull of beetroot and potato salad...MONO T JAM.

"Do you stretch your own canvas? we can collaborate, we can get a coffee afterwards, but not at starbucks...that dinky little spot on the corner"

"I like the way you dont comb your hair"



SILK SUIT MAFIAS

MORE TUNE!!!

Finally...so youve probably heard Township funk, Thembisa funk, Limpopo funk, Pretoria funk, Durban funk. well, i've always been saying that someone from Sandton needs to step up, which obviously means me because i'm practically the mayor of Sandton, and a suspected drug dealer.So here's a little audio slice of life of being a young fly yellow nigger in a white and rich funky world. Big up everyone in Gallo Manor(Gallo grimey), Fourways( 4 ways to die) and Sandown (Lil Brazil)...

Download it here....SANDTON FUNK

LET ME HEAR YOU SAY NEW TUNE!!

Ive Been pretty pretty pretty(like my face)busy behind the boards as of late, i got some gifts for the winter, some tropical heat, operation "sweating bullets". Just some songs to get you excited for the album. Watch this space,and thats pun intended bitch!

Gonna put up more tunes tonight if my wireless cooperates with a nigga.

Enjoy, heres my remix of Mr. V ~Put your drink down (Big space Remix)

download or stream it, your choice, your life.

PUT YOUR DRINK DOWN (bIG sPACE rEMIX)

http://www.mediafire.com/?njzrolycwnm

DIRTY PROMO

BIG up Ishasha, looks like were all getting some gigs these days. Kosher time.

WHITE PEOPLE ROCK!

DIBONO..MARAGO...I LOVE

This my current favourite website, WWW.ASSPARADE.COM The photography is so beautiful and the composition of the photos is like being French kissed by God with a mouthful of cognac.

JAH JAH CITY (Kaffir School)

Well,anywhooo...Thanks for hating on me,it makes me work harder, in other words,thanks for the money you just made me!

I know who scratched my car and wrote "Fuck U" on it. Go to school and get a real job, or at least sell cocaine and do something interesting for a change instead of focusing on what other motherfuckers do.....i mean, With all the socks youre smelling everyday, you must have better shit to do than fuck with me..but then again, if i had to smell feet all day whilst being mentally incapable of talking about something thats not about fashion or your non existent aspirations i'd also be an angry sallow hating ass motherfucker,actually i'd be a bad breathed cigarette wetting motherfucker too.

I spit on my hand that i made a peace treay with. Shame on me.

P.S. one of your homies told me your privates look like a bulldog eating mayonnaise.

P.S.S.
HERES SOME WORDS FROM a fellow midget, KATT WILLIAMS


Casera Bitches

Big Space The White Man.

9~5 TYPE OF GUY

Its time for Inspector Moorosi to do this thing again...its been a while, but fuck it, i still got it..check out this investigative news peice i just did.


http://www.mahala.co.za/culture/sultans-of-swing

"Me never belive you, oh whoaaaa!" ~ Mavado

Big Space

DIRTY DUTTY!!!

Its about that time ...Bigger Venue, bigger acts and Mr. Bigger SPACE just keeps getting biggerer and biggest as it gets. I"m going back to basics this time round,its time for that Negro house special, its time to get slewed again...BlACK GANG RAPE PARANOIA VOL 1...cumming out between your legs real soon.

This is going to be the third DIRTY! DIRTY! event, and as you KNOW, three is the magic number. So expect some David Blaine pancreas splitting magic when you get to the party. The haters keep hating cause they dont now how to get crowds like we do. Go learn some skills and talents then you can roll like us you cocksuckers...working retail is not a skill or a talent, nor is being an irresponsible mother and a Mos Def groupie.THOSE ARE NOT TALENTS. I REPEAT. NOT TALENT. Coat tail that you petri dish licking bastards.

"I had pepper corns but now i'm the grind, ace on the bass yes i saw the sign"—Big Space

WERE GOING TO HAVE A GOOD TIME REGARDLESS. WE KNOW NOTHING ABOUT ALL STAR PARRRRS...

SPACE

GUN SHOTS FOR KGATAS

Im actually quite an asshole..and a tad bit ashamed...yes im Evil. Yesterday my brother Spoek Mathambo also known as Nthato James Monde Mokgata got married to a Sexy Lil young thing named Anna Pappazouraliki, AND whom i'm now going to claim as my sister so i can loan money from her. SO HOLLLLEEEEERRRRRRRRRRR


So here's a special rhyme Spoek wrote when he was like a tadpole, this is to commemorate this special moment in his life aS AN ADULT which he wrote when he was like only 2 years old when he wrote this rhyme right hurrr...cause he didnt even know how to talk too good and stuff and all like..and he kept vomitting on me for no apparent incongrusible reason...so heres the rhyme Ok?:

[Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! Check it ! This is Mr. Kgatas,lyrical mzastas,dont call him a man he's a '
'collusus'yo, man check it, fuck it, yo, man, uhm,like fuck it yo!, check it... uhm yo like perpetual skills.. i'm a whole fucking ham and a pasta!!!".[patent claim: [brackets within brackets of [brackets].Holler.]['Holler' is a patent claim of "Kgata and Spazzola Industries Inc".Copy rights Incorporated Nigger]




BUT ON THE REAL!! ITS A HAPPY DAY! CeLEBRATE THAT WITH CHAMPS AND WEED! HAVE A NICE ONE!!!!!WHICH IM SURE BY NOW MEANS YOU MUST BE IN THE BUTCHERY....GETTING YOUR RIGHTFULL CUTS.COLD CUTS. SKABA BONA KA DI KENG KE RENG KENG!KE TLAO WO TLA!!

Dr Space Love, no grammer no correcton no love.....Holler at ur boi...e text bitch!pAlya!

WHITE DEVIL MAFIAS

COMING SOON, LIKE A FEW DAYS. I'm just showing off my "white" side. Its a niggery blend of Minimal tech, Electro, Tech house, some trashy 8o's pop ballads and of course some Dancehall mash ups.

With Gods Grace

Big Space

CULT LEADER

Meet Amy, also known as the Bathroom Secretary, but you peasants and lithe feathered phesants can call her CULT LEADER, or just Boss.

Amy is my favourite person of all the new people i've met this year, most people i've met this year now inspire me to devise ways of clubbing them to death with a sock full of 5 cent coins. What makes Amy so spesh and profesh is that she's the future queen of flavour or that thing they call "swagger", Amy is the French Hugenout renaissance woman and Rap Goddess of the universe and Stellenbosch. Amy has saved over 100000 people's live's with her inspirational guidance tapes called "Bitch, I'm back", and she also owns over 20000 mink coats.

Album soon come.

CULT LEADER, CULT LEADER AMY IS THE BOSS.

bIG BABY $PACE

NO, FOR REAL...I KNOW WHITE PEOPLE

I know white people, i know them better than i know myself..and you know what i also know?They like me. In fact, white people love me. Nobody beleived me at first when i said i know white people, but hey..its true!

On Thursday at Dirty! Dirty! i realised that "wow, its that white yo!" like that real white. I'm talking about wicker garden chairs full of dog hairs, marmite sandwhiches,crocs, Toyota Prius's, divorce courts and cat lovers. I had a pocket full of Robert Downing Jnr and a freckled girl from Stellenbosch with a French surname telling me i'm cute and how she'd love to share pictures of my penis with her cousins in rehab and what not...i was like "i does this, its that white".



Lets also not forget about the broke white girl who said "can you pretty please buy me a drink?" Bramley is hood. Never in my life has a white person, let alone a white girl asked me to buy them a drink..Last year a plus sized jewish white girl asked to borrow R10 from me so she could get herself something to eat...that was quite epic i guess. And i guess it just blew eveything i said out the toilet bowl...Like i said, i know white people. Porcelain. Armitagge Shanks. Its a brand and it works.

I ALSO LIKE DOGS..AND I ONCE HAD A KITTEN. AND IF THIS IS WHAT FAME IS LIKE...LETS JUST SAY I HAVE VITALIGO THEN.

BIG UP ALL MY BLACK PEOPLE STILL BITCHING! WHATS REALLY GOOD! I HAVENT LEFT YOU....YET.

BIG $PACE

AS THE WORLD BURNS

Apparently we have 100 months to save the planet from the fiery depths of global warming and other nasty evils we have created throughout history, according to some guys with lab coats and thin French moustaches.

That’s scary but what’s scarier is that I have 3 months to save my life. I don’t have an exotic disease that requires an adventure into the Amazon jungle to obtain the antidote; my code alert is to save the planet that is my future and what I plan on doing after I graduate this year. A planet far worse than Mars or The Planet of The Apes.

The world is not big enough for me and my qualms with it. I don’t see why I should be forced to buy a hybrid car just because large corporations that rule the world want to increase productivity and thus ultimately suck the earth dry like a starving child surgically attached to Dolly Parton’s chest. So what can we do? We can recycle and buy unleaded petrol at exorbitant rates, but that’s not good enough for the grandiose big ball of blue matter we call home.

Now we have to build our houses out of a mixture of compressed yak guts and walrus droppings. So what have you done for me lately planet Earth? Where you were when my parents were asking me what am I going to do next year? Isn’t that a good time to start an earth quake just to divert the conversation elsewhere? I bet a tsunami would have put an end to the xenophobic attacks, because black people don’t do well with water, we’d work together to build an arc and sail to the Netherlands just to see what it feels like to take the old spice route created by the Dutch East India Company.

The “natural” order of the earth has basically gone to Lake “Go Kill Yourself” and we’re all cordially invited to bring our swimming costumes along, for the murkiest swim of our lives.

You could be selfish like me and only worry about yourself and the close one’s around you or you could make blockbuster movies like Al Gore that illustrate how were destroying the planet, whilst his Lear Jet sputters more carbon monoxide than Chinese factories.

That is not a stereotype about Chinese people by the way, because black people have never been called polluters apart from the sound pollution that is FUNKY DEEP HOUSE music, because if you didn’t know by now, Chinese people are black too, and some Chinese restaurants have even started to serve chop-suey with pap.

The simple fact here is that the Earth will always destroy itself like it has since the beginning of time in one way or the other, that and Aids is the only thing that is promised in this world. My best bet is just to live your life according to what ever prerogative suits you the most, whether it’s saving the Earth or just washing your car every Saturday before getting ready to drink and drive.

The early bird who gets the worm works for somebody that comes in late and owns the worm farm. We are all worms, lets get used to it, the Earth owns us and there so many different species of birds out there that we’re basically and unfortunately by the natural order of things pretty much screwed. The birds need us for food and the earth needs us to nourish it with our tiny particles of faeces. All we can do with our slimy selves is just keep on borrowing until another Pangaea surfaces that we can ruin all over again.

SPACEVEIN